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September 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

it doesn't matter what you say

Dealing with someone, even second-hand, who is mired in swamps of self-loathing is an amazing way to discover just how one's centeredness campaign is going. I mean, the degree to which their behavior of desperate character defamation triggers a response in me other than compassion and disinterest in the drama is a fairly accurate indicator of the bliss I've got going on. So what about their version of reality about me do I identify with? And why do I buy at all?

It is so easy to slip into the misguided notion that we can affect other people's behavior by what we say or do. We just don't have that kind of control. And the degree to which they flail about for a distraction from their self-loathing is the amount of energy they will throw at whoever they think is a willing target.

Such a great reminder, and a perfect opportunity to practice letting it go.

Monday, September 29, 2008

renaissance fair V

Monte  

Sunday, September 28, 2008

renaissance fair IV

Masks

renaissance fair II

Buccaneer

Saturday, September 27, 2008

renaissance fair I

Me

Thursday, September 25, 2008

entertainment

Show2

relief

How do you spell relief?

I've had a morning full of dealing with people changing their minds and modifying direction on projects, so I knew I had to get out of the building for awhile and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Chocolate helped, and some roaming the aisles at Joann's, especially since their beading supplies are all on sale. Immersing myself in the colors and the textures and the designs was life-giving, and I am almost totally refreshed now--a few laps around the building later will do. My mp3 player headphones are plugged in, and I'm being fed intravenously with the clear, solid vibration of music. Turn it up just a little bit. There.

Then, looking forward to an evening of no necessary tasks. I'll get back to my writing/claying/beading creating that's been on hiatus for a week or so. My experiment with not pushing with a perceived urgency seems to be paying off with more ideas and plans. Go figure.

Take a deep breath and find your relief. Right now.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

200 pound pumpkin

Pumpkin

Monday, September 22, 2008

county fair

County fair

Thursday, September 18, 2008

following the rules

Detroit

I've had quite a bit of input today from other people's experiences in their bodies when they perceive themselves as not being "good enough". The manifestations vary from having ulcer-like symptoms over wanting to execute a craft project perfectly, to vomiting and not being able to sleep for days. This is insane. These people are competent adults, reduced to quivering mounds of goo in judging themselves now in the manner in which they learned to judge themselves growing up. It makes me sad, makes me mad, makes me compassionate, makes me irritated, makes me ponder how in the world this world keeps spinning if we continuously create monsters like this inside all of us to some degree. Generations of repressed people, who pass on this gunk to the next. Performance anxiety or the propensity toward world domination, it all comes from the same place: not allowing people to be who they are. Which gets projected onto the unsuspecting clerk, or the handy neighboring country, or the significant other, or internalized in your high blood pressure, or your colitis, or your depression.

This is why the self-help industry is so huge. It takes so many passes at healing thoughts to even merely begin to compensate for the damage that was done over so many decades of first, learning this kind of negative self-talk and experiencing it from others, and then constantly immersing ourselves in it. It's easier to remember the self deprecation than it is to hang on to the new life-giving notion of self-love. Hence the millions of books and cds and therapy sessions and dramas played out in the media when people finally snap.

Who's interests are served by instituting this lack mentality in competition and comparison learned in school, and body image trauma learned on television and newsstands and movies? And why do we not ignore it for the control ploy it really is?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

oh, yeah, THAT'S why

I felt a wave of sleepiness come over me this afternoon around 3:30, and I traced it back to the Standard American Diet simple-carb portion of bread and soup that I ate today at lunch. It was free, it tasted great, but man, did it help remind me of why I eat the wacked out way that I do. Complex carbs are my mainstay. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Some more awesome beads being produced this evening after a trip to the bead store for different colors of clay and a larger sized bead roller. Now I can make lingham beads to my heart's content. If I have time, if the morning flows, I'll bake this batch before I go to work, and then polish them up when I get home tomorrow.

air bed and breakfast

I love this idea! It encompasses all of the wonderful things about travel - meeting new people and getting to know the flavor of a place outside of Tourist Row. Go viralness, go.

my handmade lingham beads

SilverblueD

Here's the latest handmade beads of mine. The photo doesn't do the swirling magic justice. I love repeating this theme, trying new color combinations. I'm giving this one to a woman at work who is moving away from the area, on to new adventures in another state.


Sunday, September 14, 2008

the story of the way I want it to be

Lots of rain today, the remnants of Ike spinning itself out over the continent. I appreciated the soaking that the earth needs around here, and the extra coziness it provided while sticking around the hearth for the day. My body reminded me that it needs a little more movement though, so I appreciate that reminder.

I appreciate the feeling of groundedness (ha! the spell checker wanted to call this groundnuts :-) and enhanced well-being during a recent stand-taking I was able to orchestrate that didn't involve any pushing against or making someone else wrong. I just refused to believe any of the thoughts that tried to creep into my head when someone else was trying to make me wrong. This has happened before many times, but the levels of centeredness that I reached on this occasion were very sweet. Thank you, inner being for providing the contrast in what you know to be true about me and what I might be believing in the moment, and thank you, new self for stepping up to the plate and living what we've imagined.

The well-being carried over into the following 24 hours, with smoothness and ease the order of the day. I noticed the absence of tension and vague anxiety and caring what someone else might think about anything I was dong, especially me. It was fabulous.

I'll be focusing on that so more will come to me and continue to come to me.

It's the way I want it to be.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

out of the frying pan, into the fire

So tonight, I had a mystical experience on the roadways: I didn't hit the brakes once upon entering the highway. Smooth sailing all the way home. It was so delicious, and such a contrast to the night before. Thank you, universe, for that. It helps. A lot. Really.

And thank you for saving the last Star Wars Storm trooper Halloween costume for boys sized 10-12 for me at Target, and the additional modal thong underwear I now have added to my stash, and the boots that were on sale at REI. I'll catch up to the boys' jammies tomorrow.


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

bring it on

Not so appreciating tonight. It took me an hour to get home, even though I waited til the usual departure time of 6:45. There’s a single lane of traffic now due to the construction running from about ten miles from my house to about 2 miles from my house. So my plans to find alternative places to stay during the week (or heck, maybe even moving altogether) will be kicked into higher gear, starting tomorrow. This will only get worse as the snow flies and the work gets more involved on the highway.

So, telling the story like I want it to be: I appreciate the friends who opened up their hearts and their homes to me during this construction challenge, allowing me to relax and recharge for the evening rather than sit in my car for hours on end, to get some work done on my beading and the craft fair, and my writing. I appreciate that feeling of freedom again, knowing I have stretches of time available to me rather than feeling disempowered. I know that I will come out on the other side of this experiment with a stronger sense of freedom and nimbleness (that’s a work word - one of our “goals,” but I like it here anyway) and further streamlining how I live my life.

I can already picture what I’ll do to get organized for the week, and how I’ll have extra clothes and an overnight bag ready, coming up with a sort of “uniform” to wear to work that is comfy and travels well and can be multi-purposed if necessary. It will be strange not coming home during the week maybe, but that’s why I don’t have a dog or a cat. Universe, I am ready for possibilities opening up for me. I’m ready.

Monday, September 08, 2008

there's that tipping point

You cannot continue to beat the drum of things that don't feel good when you beat them—without filling your future experience full of things that don't feel good. At some point, there's going to be a tipping point that's going to become a manifestation.

-- Abraham

Sunday, September 07, 2008

how do you spell relief?

I so appreciate the resistance toys that are available to me when I really need them.

I was starting to succumb to a less than positive vibe about not getting any response from the envelopes of bumper stickers and blog letters I sent out before Labor Day, and yesterday I was confronting watching myself allow myself to lower my vibe to match someone else's, and allow thoughts that weren’t serving me at all, float through my head. Til this morning, when I came upon one of my original resistance toys, a piece of paper that says, “It’s not true,” (for all those negative self-talk loops)  and it’s close relative, “The only way that you can ever know if something is of value to you is by the way it feels as you are receiving it,” (for recognizing why I don’t feel so good). My body immediately registered calm and relaxation.

It was amazing how good reaching for that relief felt.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Entrepreneurial Time System™

I remember hearing Jack Canfield describe this system in an interview he gave during the groundswell of interest when The Secret first came out. In a recent post at The Style Statement's blog, the appropriate attribution to the originator of the system, as far as I am aware of, was mentioned - Dan Sullivan and Babs Smith. I'm so intrigued with this idea that I'm going to start working with it, even though my days are not technically my own. Yet.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

THREE: Types of Days

At its core, The Entrepreneurial Time System™ completely alters an individual's relationship to time. It allows one's personal and professional lives to receive an equal amount of attention – indeed, to be in balance – and thus generate energy for each other. The program calls for dividing days into three distinct types, which we call Free Days, Focus Days, and Buffer Days, and attending differently during each.

* Free Days®

 A Free Day is a 24-hour period, Midnight to Midnight, in which you, the entrepreneur, do not engage in any business-related thinking, communication, or actions. It is an admittedly difficult concept for many company founders, who might feel they are abandoning their child when they take time away from the business. However, the opposite is true: You become a detriment to your business when you don't. When you refuse to delegate tasks, you slow down your team. When you run out of energy, you don't have the creativity to seize opportunities. When you become reactive, you harm the organization you want to build and protect. Your personal life suffers, too. One successful entrepreneur I know says, "I was boring! I only had one thing I could talk about: work."

The best Free Days are planned in advance—and are protected, inviolate, and non-negotiable. When you learn to disconnect from the stream of demands and information (much of which is soon irrelevant) and invest attention and care in the other aspects of your life, you start making choices against a broader backdrop. Your life becomes more integrated, and less a tug-of-war between conflicting elements.

In 2003, Babs and I are taking 150 Free Days. We booked them before the year began. Imagine the trust in our team that this demanded of us! But until we made the commitment, we couldn't have a team equal to the challenge. Now, our free time is devoted to rejuvenating ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. When we return to work, we're able to be more creative, confident, and productive, and the whole company benefits.

 * Focus Days®

A Focus Day is a 24-hour period, again Midnight to Midnight, in which you spend 80 percent of your time on the activities that create results for your business. To use a sports analogy, these are "game days." On Focus Days, you concentrate on your most important business-related activities, relationships, and opportunities. If you've planned your Free Days strategically, you will be rejuvenated and thus able to be fully "on" and "present" for your performance on Focus Days.

By communicating to your team in advance that you'll be "focusing" on a particular day, you will enable them to clear a path for you, setting up whatever you need to help you be your most productive and achieve results.

What should you be doing on your Focus Days? Think about what you do personally that makes the greatest contribution to your company's bottom line. Pick the three activities that create the best results for your company. These are likely the activities that also energize you personally, because you feel a sense of progress and accomplishment when engaging in them. Imagine how productive you could be if you could spend a day attending to just these tasks, without interruption, and with full preparation and support. This is what Focus Days are for.

 * Buffer Days®

If Focus Days are for performance, Buffer Days are for rehearsals. On Buffer Days, you handle all of the details that would otherwise distract your attention on a Focus Day. You use these days to catch up, clean up messes, delegate, and learn new skills. You use them to maintain and restore simplicity and order in your life – what could be more satisfying than clearing a week's worth of phone calls to return from your to-do list? Most importantly, you use them to do the necessary planning that will ensure that nothing intrudes on your Free Days & Focus Days.

Living the Good Life

Consider the emphasis and breakdown -- Free Days first, then Focus Days, and finally Buffer Days – in a ratio of roughly three, three, one. Now imagine applying this system to your week, your month, your year – indeed, your life. What would you have to change, physically and mentally, to make it work for you? Is there anything you would lose as a result? What would you gain?

Thousands of entrepreneurs have learned this system in The Strategic Coach Program®. Many struggle initially with the seeming paradox of working less yet getting better results. Time and again, though, I've seen individuals surpass all their previous business achievements while finding new satisfaction in their lives, because they now have more freedom than ever to do what they feel passionate about, to be with the people they love, and to enjoy a richer array of experiences.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Reading

In reading for truth, you understand, I am not seeking a full game plan, some large system that will explain the world to me, or a patent for bliss. Instead I seek clues that might explain life's oddities, that might light up the dark corners of existence a little, that might correct foolish ideas I have come to hold too dearly, that might, finally make my own stay here on earth more interesting, if not necessarily more pleasant.

Joseph Epstein~The Middle of My Tether

Having dinner

This is the heart of whole body eating: Be there when you eat. Achieve the fullest experience of your food. Taste it. Savor it. Pay attention to it. Rejoice in it. See how it makes your body feel. Take in all the sensations.

But don't just eat the food. Eat the ambiance. Eat the colors. Eat the aromas. Eat the conversation. Eat the company sitting next to you. Eat the entire experience...

We don't just hunger for food alone. We hunger for the experience of it--the tasting, the chewing, the sensuousness, the enjoyment, the textures, the sounds, and the satisfaction.

Marc David~Nourishing Wisdom

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

an art to wandering

There is an art to wandering. If I have a destination, a plan--an objective--I've lost the ability to find serendipity. I've become too focused, too single-minded. I am on a quest, not a ramble. I search for the Holy Grail of particularity and miss the chalice freely offered, filled full and overflowing.

--Cathy Johnson, On Becoming Lost