Follow your gut.
That phrase used to bewilder me, since I had no clue what type of communication my gut was giving me.
Now that I've managed to rediscover how to tune in to that frequency, I do my best to honor the guidance it has in store. Even if that means stepping on someone else's toes, upsetting an apple cart, rocking the boat. I've sunk my own boat often enough by not listening to this guidance that it's too costly not to, in the end.
Maintaining boundaries, or not, with people teaches them, and you, how you want to be treated. Take a look at this area in your life and see the results all around you and erupting inside you if you don't feel so great.
Of course there's a way to let people know what you require, what you expect, what you prefer, and there's outright animosity and finger-pointing. I would highly recommend developing a sensitively delivered form of the former rather than the latter. Because if I'm coming from a place of feeling exploited, then I didn't do the due diligence of communicating what was on my mind in the first place. My bad.
This also enters the arena of bargaining with yourself about who you really are and what isn't acceptable in terms of behavior and esteem, or lack of it, from others. Hearing out loud coming from your own mouth what it is that you want is a powerful experience. And it gets easier with practice.
It's not about accusation. It's about clarification. And when you know on a cellular level something just isn't right, then it's time to say so, and go.
Before a decade goes by and your life isn't exactly what you thought it would be.
~*~*~
The comment function isn't working for me, so I'll include mine here:
Thanks, Linda!!
This awareness of mine has been a long time coming, Matt. Lots of opportunities to practice a different way to look at something. Lots of people conspiring to help me practice. And lots of decisions in baby step form to get to the critical mass that being "right" just isn't the nirvana it's cracked up to be.
Cuz it ain't.
It is so clear to you and it sounds so clear reading it in your words... yet I'm having trouble fitting it to my life. I often worry too much about what other people think of me and my actions/words/thoughts... and that tends to detract from what I want or want to express.
I'm working on it but it's a level of self awareness I'm not sure I've got yet. Thanks for sharing... and for adding yet another thing to the long list of self improvements :-P
Posted by: Matt Dibble | Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 12:43 PM
More truth, and in dazzling clarity. Thank you!
Posted by: Linda R. | Friday, July 10, 2009 at 08:51 AM