Friday, October 22, 2010

those voices in my head My day-to-day has changed in many ways over the last few weeks. One of them is that I've stopped listening to particular types of chatter in my head, and not because I've discovered some miraculous method of shutting them up. They've just quietly, nearly, disappeared. When you live your life the way you want to live it, shifts like that can happen. The ammunition that the "shoulds" and "need tos" that run us usually load into their arsenal just don't pack the same punch anymore. I watch as I don't listen to their fading criticisms and manufactured emergencies, and I marvel as my focus simply goes elsewhere. Not buying into artificial imperatives is immensely satisfying. Take believing that I should be doing something else right now, for instance. I feel the notion triggering some vague irritation and fear, and then it dissipates from not letting it go any further than that. It has no place to take hold. Absence of reactivity creates so much more room for other kinds of engagement that feed our souls rather than fragment it. Giving ourselves permission to be who we really are on a daily basis is a radical practice. Recognizing layers of conditioning and then learning to ignore them rather than to keep investing in their power is revolutionary. Until it begins to feel like normal. Just like anything else that is practiced into a habit. Like those "shoulds" and "have tos". They originally got practiced over time, once they were introduced to us by the adults around us, into their seemingly unquestionable state. Fortunately, it's easy to question them once you get a foothold into taking your power back, which can come about from many points on the continuum. Discovering your own truth on a topic unlocks the floodgates of inquiry. What...

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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