Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Occupy Yourself I had the great fortune recently to attend an intimate performance by a baroque ensemble who played music written by English court composers from back in the day. There were two violins, a soloist, and a lute player who offered their sweet sounds to an appreciative audience for an hour while we munched on a very fine lunch in a room lined with windows, wooden floors and comfy chairs. At the end of the performance, I felt compelled to engage the gentleman lute player in conversation and find out more about his craft. When I asked, he told me that there are probably 5 other people in the metro area who play the lute, and maybe a few thousand world-wide. He also volunteered that he plays guitar as well but that gigs for the lute pay better. I was fascinated by these ratios. And inspired, by yet another example of someone who followed their passion in spite of--I'm guessing--some pressure from various sectors of the peanut gallery in his family and elsewhere about how practical it was going to be to dedicate one's time and energy toward something so obscure, not to mention the how-will-you-ever-support-yourself factor. Yet here he is, clearly doing so. You might be spending time with folks during the next few weeks who aren't exactly your strongest champions. They may not be able to extend their approval of you in ways that feel like approval. While that might seem like a wonderful thing, even if it were to arrive by some miracle, it's not enough. We would still be missing our own. It's the one that counts. It's the one that matters. It's the one that makes the difference between you ever EVER being happy, and, well, not. Happy means living and doing what we are meant...
Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of Disapproval, or Am I Going To Die? by Deb Schanilec Yes, it’s true—at times even this blissmonger (some of you folks know me by that persona J) encounters what some might call “choppy waters”. Without going into too much detail, I’ll simply say that a worldview epically polar opposite mine inserted itself into my presence recently. Someone significant to my experience on the planet was trying to be supportive in the only way they knew how. This worldview focused on lack, playing small, hedging against all possible contingencies, contraction, fear, doubt, worry and anxiety to the degree that this person couldn’t hear otherwise if their life depended on it. Of course they had the same opinion of my worldview, as polar opposites are wont to do. I wasn’t being reasonable with my focusing on abundance, playing large, expansion, belief, knowing and positive expectation, and my life depended on being able to hear otherwise. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when circumstances like this would have had me stewing because of the meaning I attributed to someone else’s opinion being different than mine. I would have been lost in anger, blame, guilt, or some other savory spot on the emotional scale, and quite possibly even succumbed to the temptation to abdicate my worldview for theirs altogether. I would have been up most of the night, losing sleep because of the Tasmanian Devil of a tizzy I’d worked myself into, thinking of the perfect come-back that would convince them of my position that I hadn’t had the presence of mind to articulate at the time in my state of shock. However. Because of the investment I’ve made in choosing where my mind hangs out most often, doing the maintenance work that keeps it there and supplementing with enhancements as often as possible, my response was much different...

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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