Oh, the baby steps it took to get here. He even wanted to take her for a walk - can you imagine?
And here, again, baby steps. I can't wait to get home every night to try something new.
It is the new year, but if you're looking for some guidance on how to stick with resolutions you've made, you'll be disappointed here.
I don't do resolutions.
I think it's a very clever way to instill yet another layer of guilt on the collective conscience of our culture, this constant I'm-not-good-enough-the-way-I-am mentality that we buy in to.
Sure, some of us could certainly benefit from those lofty goals we might set for ourselves at this time of year.
But have you noticed how futile those efforts usually are?
We're given a false imperativehave NGE shoved down our throats, but nary a clue as to how to be successful at achieving them.
And those lists of superficial tip/tweaks here and there don't count as guidance either.
The only effective control panel we have that I've been able to harness in my 47 years is our thoughts and our feelings.
When you get the hang of that, everything is within your reach.
Cuz it's no reach at that point.
It's a given.
If you're interested, I've got a "No, thanks. I'm OK the way I am" t-shirt with your name on it.
From confusion comes clarity.
You just might need to sit with the confusion for awhile before the clarity shows up.
And when it does, you know - your gut clears out the yucky feelings, and you are clear.
You know you know.
And it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, or says.
You go by how it feels.
Not condescendingly, or from a position that needs to be justified or proven.
You just know.
And then you move on.
Sometimes, I just don't know.
When something that might not bother other people bothers me, I wonder about the validity of my response.
But I can't help how I feel, and I won't solve anything by shoulding myself into feeling the way others feel.
I feel how I feel, until I feel differently.
I could have things sized up all wrong, but for the moment, I don't think so.
Sometimes I just don't know.
I see something I want.
I note that it's not likely to ever be mine, since it belongs to someone else.
So, what to do?
OK, apply your skills here, dude.
What is it about what you want that makes you feel jazzed, that you can focus on and draw that to you in a different manifestation?
-I love how I feel around it.
-I love the effortlessness of being around it.
-I love how I have fun with it.
-I love how unrestricted I feel around it.
-I love how authentic I can be around it.
There.
That's what I want, and why.
Now it's my turn to allow.
And continue feeling good about as many things as possible, making deposits into my emotional 401K.
Cha-ching.
Whether you have a young man or young woman in your life, you need to talk about what you see here with both of them. It impacts them both in different ways. It impacts us all.
This is familiar terrain. It feels like I've been here before, but there are some key differences this time around:
1) I am detached from the outcome.
2) My heart is wide open.
3) I know that Love with a Capital L is at work here, and my job is to allow it to move through me.
4) I can hold the space for others to do the same.
5) Change is the only constant.
6) Everyone else's journey is theirs and theirs alone.
7) I contribute the most by being intensely and naturally my Self.
8) I have no idea how things will turn out, and it's none of my business.
9) The difference between feeling good and feeling bad is all it takes to let me know when to shift focus in every moment.
10) Drama is an exhausting, debilitating diversion, a remote and ineffective attempt at substitution for #3.
11) Sometimes the pain of choosing a new way of thinking is more painful than hanging on to the drama.
12) It's about them.
13) Help is best offered when it's requested, and not before.
14) This too shall pass.
15) At some point, something else will be showing up around the corner.
You may have noticed I've been doing some tweaking to the ol' blog look-and-feel.
Apparently some of those tweaks cause some issues with functionality.
Sigh.
It's never a simple thing to fix, and I am chuckling at the universe's sense of humor in all this.
This too shall pass, but boy can I get frustrated in the meantime, not knowing what I need to know to fix it.
Sigh.
Waa waa waa.
Enough whining.
I figured it out already.
Thanks for humoring me, universe.
"And you just cannot afford the luxury of sloppily looking anywhere the loudest bell that is ringing is asking you to look, and at the same time practice the Art of Allowing."
I know, I know, I know.
Sloppy thinking wreaks havoc in escrow land. Sometimes it's soooooooo tempting to slip back into a feeling whose detrimental effect has clearly been established - why is that? What is it about a familiar feeling, even if it's a negative one, that brings so much perceived comfort? How can a chemical trigger in my neuro pathways be so actively working against my best interests?
Fortunately, I'm not up to indulging this yearning in feeling land - it's just not worth it. The bell doesn't retain its original decibel levels, so the siren call isn't as compelling as it once was. With a wistful last look, I turn and walk away into the sunset, preferring to further entrench a trail in new territory than navigating these old useless ruts again.
Sigh.
The only way that you can ever know
if something is of value to you
is by the way it feels
as you are receiving it.
-- Abraham
**************
This belongs on every wallpaper, every screen saver, every forehead, every nightstand, every bathroom mirror. If it doesn't feel good, it's either not true, or a shout from the universe that you'd best be moving along from whatever it is. Do an about face in your mind or on your feet, and get the hell outta there.
I have no idea why I am such a whiney whiner at the moment, but I am. Could be the sub-zero temps inside at work, contrasting with the hotter-than-hades temps outside. Balance, moderation, please. The kicker indicator that not all is well - my shopping expedition to Whole Foods, there was no bulk oatmeal nor granny smith apples. None. How can that be? Where is my stuff? Waa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. My alignment must be way-y-y-y-y off.....
I wonder if it's because I didn't listen to any music all weekend. At all. Hmm....
Via magpie girl's site: here’s some ideas for dealing with the Small Bloggers Blues:
1. Take a break from your site meter.
2. Redefine success for yourself. List all things your blog does for you (fosters gratitude in your life, helps you hone your craft, organizes your thoughts…
3. Write yourself an affirmation. I like this one: “My story matters.”
4. Reach out to another small blogger. Take this feeling that you have about being discouraged or not “not mattering” and take it as a cue that you need to reach out to others who are feeling the same.
5. Join the SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL google group. (I’ll link to it when it is available.)
6. Follow a comment you like back to the commenter’s blog. You’ll probably find an inspirational read from someone who shares your values.
7. Tag your posts with your name (or nom de plume) and your blog name so like minded souls can find you.
8. Remind yourself that you are writing for an audience of one. Make yourself a sticker that says “I heart authenticity.”
I like this list. It contains wisdom gleaned from magazines targeted towards women for obsession about weight, and dealing with depression, with a cyber twist. Don't focus on the numbers. Get out of your head and into someone else's heart. Do it for you. Do it for you. Do it for you. Be yourself, and the audience will follow. Or not. It doesn't really matter, as long as you are having fun and the tool doesn't become the vehicle for your life. The idea is to get out there and live it, so you can benefit from reflecting on it. Commenting on someone else's blog will make THEIR day. Give the thing you want to get. There's more than enough to go around.
There. I still want my oatmeal and my granny smith apples, but I feel better about their absence.
It's 10 o'clock - do you know where your feelings are?
Throughout the day, would you be able to guess with fairly high accuracy what your emotional range has been from hour to hour, moment to moment?
Where would you estimate you spend your emotional currency in this grid?
I thought so.
If you're like me, you might be a bit surprised to discover in which clusters of feelings you are actually spending most of your waking hours.
And if reaching and dabbling and shining's purpose is to feel good, most of the time, about most things, well, some of us have some work to do. I know I did.
When I discovered that I was dipping down into the lower half of the scale more often than I thought I was, that was an eye-opener.
I realized that my efforts to move toward the upper registers by reaching for what resonates probably weren't going to be as successful as they might be if I weren't self-sabotaging with emotional cement weights.
Ah, but awareness is your friend in being able to orchestrate change. And when resistance roars in and tells you that it's stupid to do this exercise, you'll know you're on the right track.
Print out the pdf version of this chart several times and put them in places you'll come across them naturally throughout your day. If you don't have a color printer, you can color in the wavy lines yourself if you want.
Or determine some tracking method that works for you, and use it to indicate what you are feeling and when. Draw a grid over the wavy lines to represent your day by the hour. Or just write down what time it is when you come across each sheet and circle where you are at the moment.
Or do nothing at all, except pay attention. That's reaching, too. Just the choice of wanting to know, over blissful ignorance, is enough of a shift to start you on the northern migration, which is where I want to be.
Care to join me?
