blissmonger.com

When you least suspect it

Sometimes when I log in to the Mac computer I have access to at work, the dialog box jiggles if it doesn’t want to recognize me as a valid user. On those days, no matter how many times I attempt to log in, the box just jiggles for a few seconds and then stands stolidly still, until I give in, totally shut down and reboot.

That’s how I felt last night around 4:30–-there was some energetic jiggling going on, and I had to reboot in order to get over it. My son was gearing up for the transition back to his dad’s house on a less than smooth note, my printer suddenly decided not to allow yellow ink to flow through the print head, and I didn’t feel like cooking anything for dinner.

If I had been alone, this mood might have degenerated into ordering take-out Chinese and some more delving into the world of my latest literary joy, Terrence McKenna. But I wasn’t alone, I paid attention and followed where I was led in my body, and the whole experience shifted into another dimension.

First I realized I had a hankering for Thai food, and scoured a couple cookbooks for basic recipes. I needed ingredients no matter the recipe, so I pushed through some resistance about going to the grocery store and purchased the necessary supplies to bring my flavor quencher to life. Several other items that I use on a regular basis were on sale, so the trip was a great investment of time, money and repurposing old perceptions.

While I pulled dinner together, my helper put on some soothing music and pulled out some dvds from which to choose a cinematic diversion for the rest of the evening. Feast of Love was the clear winner and it did not disappoint. The setting, the story line, the actors and the theme all combined to make a soul-satisfying mix of sound and imagery and connection on many levels.

The printer sits waiting patiently for me to come home and attempt to bring the clogged print head to life after 24 hours per the instructions in the manual, I have some awesome leftovers for lunch, and some lines from the movie are pleasantly sticking with me in the back of my mind today. And I’ve had experience breaking out of an old pattern that could shift some behavior around in new and unexpected ways down the road.

I. love. my. life.

stuck in time

I just finished watching Groundhog Day again.

From another perspective.

I was thinking about the people who watch this movie and identify with the part where Phil thinks he will never, ever get out of his personal hell. It appears no matter what he does, things will never change. Getting out of bed seems like an exercise in futility.

I'm sure I've felt like this at various points in my life. I have the journal entries to verify.

Holding that anguish and heartache for them tonight.

it feels good

Searching for Bobby Fisher

My son is an avid chess fan, so this seemed a natural choice to take up some of the holiday break doldrums.

I'm not sure who liked it more, me or him.

It's based on the true story of a chess champion who we've heard teach the game from a computer disk. I didn't know this until we were half way into the film. From there, I was mesmerized by the struggle between head and heart, instinct and book learning, giftedness and honoring the child, street smarts and elitist training, sportsmanship and being bred to win.

And then there is the matter of Bobby himself.

I had no idea he was this mythic figure who withdrew from the chess world like J.D. Salinger did from the literary world. Only he took it a step further - he did it twice, at least according to the movie. How intriguing, how frustrating, how perfect.

It's his game, chess, and not anyone else's. It doesn't matter if he ever materializes again, to play it or for any other reason.

But wouldn't it be cool if he did?

**********

OK, I remember now about the latest unpleasantness of Bobby Fisher.

Apparently he's in Iceland.

I've been to Iceland.

I'm Icelandic.

I guess he's said some racist, bigoted things.

Maybe so.

But this fabulous story/movie was created from his legacy, and that's what I choose to focus on.

The Straight Story

Watched a film last night called The Straight Story, about an older man who drove his riding lawn mower 200 miles to reunite with his estranged brother, whom he hadn't spoken to in ten years. Took him six weeks to make the journey. The people he met along the way were quite fascinating angels. It was a tad slow moving, but I stuck with it. I think the part that I liked best were the campfires he built each night in the makeshift campsites he pitched when he pulled off the road. Craving a fire these days.....

for the joy-giving factor

Q: Just a couple of random thoughts. Are we a rocket of desire of our Inner Being?

Abe: Yes.

(Pause. Murmurs from audience.)

Q: It sounds so cool when you say that. It felt like it was true.

Abe: And in the same way that we’re encouraging you in this personality to give birth to a rocket of desire and then follow the idea of it, that’s what your Inner Being has done with you.

Q: Oh, boy.

Abe: Big, isn’t it? That’s why when you’re in alignment the ripples of goosebumps never stop, that’s why when you’re in alignment the clarity never stops, the enthusiasm never stops, the passion never stops. In other words, those feelings are your Inner Being saying, “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! This is what we planned, this is what we knew, this is who we are, this is how it is!” It is true that your Inner Being, before you came forth into this body, had joyous ideas about what life would be like. And understood that your leading edge, nitty-gritty experience would be the data collection that would foster the specifics of those rockets. And so when you align with one of those rockets, that sensation that you are attempting to describe is what it feels like when Source Energy joins the idea that you gave birth to.

Q: Right.

Abe: In other words, it was born out of your intellect, it was born out of your deciphering, it was born out of your experience. And while we are never wanting to separate you from the Inner You, it’s your game. In other words….

Q: It’s like a partnership. I mean, when you say, “When your Inner Beings,” that group, shoots out an aspect of itself and that’s us, right? It’s a desire for that aspect to be larger, right? Or to….

Abe: But for what? In other words, why do you think your Inner Being….

Q: For fun!

Abe: Exactly. For the exposure to the moment, for the joy-giving factor, for the expression of life. And so when you are having an emotion that is satisfying - one of love or one of passion - that feeling of that emotion is the resonance of your Inner Being within you. That’s what that is. That’s why…

Q: I feel it right now.

--Abraham

backup

I watched Batman Begins last night. Dude, there's violence in that movie. There's injustice in that movie. There's darkness and despair in that movie. Not your typical metaphysically downstream film. But I loved every minute of it, from Hans Zimmer's rich, opulant musical score, to witnessing someone struggling with their demons. Having been to hell and back recently myself, I can so relate to this theme, and so relate to the slippery slope of their mastery. The scene where Bruce Wayne deliberately immerses himself in swarms of bats took my breath away. That's exactly what you have to do, man. Embrace the fear, and rock on. Even make friends with it to the point of being able to rename, when it noses its way around, what it is.

"Backup."

the lake house

The words "Live in the moment," were sounding in my head when the credits were rolling on this film. Two actors who understand that directive in their bones, making magic on the screen. Be real, love, and live in the moment. That's it. Peace, out.

Avenue Montaigne

Got together with a dear friend the other night for Thai food and a film, Avenue Montaigne. Besides the wonderful conversation and catching up, the movie was delightful. A physical comedy without the physicality. Or a Lucille Ball film without Lucille Ball. Several characters were at points in their lives where they could choose either to maintain resistance, or they could let go and finally be themselves. Others were already being who they are and observing the magnificent manifestations that arose because of it. Truly sublime.

It was a French film, so I had the old European wistfulness as the credits started rolling. The cafe, the style, the disposition. Rather than grouse about my not being anywhere near the continent, or anywhere near to being near, especially when a few people of my acquaintance are there right now, I choose to embrace the essence of that wistfulness and allow the myriad of ways the universe could deliver that to me right here in the heartland.

anyone, anyone?

I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off again. It was wonderful. I was instantly transported back in time to the day I saw it first - only the last few minutes, in a teacher's lounge on a very slow in-service day. And then I savored it from the beginning. Pure glee flowed through my system.

This time around, I noticed how out of touch Edward Rooney was, and how his world revolved around resentment and control. And I noticed how Sloan was a cardboard character. She could have contributed her feminine energy to the adventure, but she wasn't invited to the table.

Ferris was a poster child for life lining up the way we expect it will, universe bless him. 

About Schmidt

This might be one of the last films anyone would classify as spiritual, but I like that about it. I also liked that my local library decided to purchase a VHS copy of it just this past January. How bizarre.

Jack Nicholson plays a man who is quickly consumed by major life events like retirement, loss of a loved one, and the pending marriage of his adult daughter.  Life being as it is, it was still giving him many chances to wake up and smell the roses, or coffee, or whatever metaphysical, olfactory stimulant you prefer. And he did. He chose to look at some things differently than he might have, he did some forgiving, and he tried to let go his exertion of influence in a sphere where it didn't belong.

My favorite scene is when he is perched atop a Winnebago, watching the night sky, and a shooting star goes past,  perhaps an indication of communication with the beyond. The expression of wonder and awe on his face was well worth the price of admission and the two hour time length.

Howl's Moving Castle

It's been awhile since I watched a film with intent to find spiritual capital.  Last night I watched Howl's Moving Castle, by Hayao Miyazaki.  About a year ago I watched an earlier film of his, Spirited Away.  Neither of them disappoint - as a matter of fact, they seep into your soul and rearrange things for you so you are changed afterward.

I like that the hero in both of these films is a young female, and there isn't the typical macho male figure in American culture dominating the action or the story, although there is plenty of masculine energy around in the guise of war and power and magic. It's just the simple shift of focus to the feminine, and the acknowledgment of the wisdom available there, that is so refreshing.

At one point, the action and my beliefs in the zero point field converged, and I felt compelled to find out if the people I care about were OK.  That's how much this story can grab you.

detain convoy, Crabtree Sophie

detain convoy, Crabtree Sophie

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By all means, cyber marketers.

I watched Love Actually last night. Not a film I would expect to contain some spiritual elements in it, but maybe my filters are just tuned that way now and I see it everywhere. Turns out one of the best scenes had to be cut in order to package a less-than-three-hour user experience. I'd like movie makers to know that I would watch a well written, well acted, well edited three hour movie. But I digress.

One of the scenes that hit the cutting room floor involves Emma Thompson's character paying a visit to her son's school at the request of the headmistress because of an essay he wrote that she and the staff took exception to. He wrote about a Christmas Wish that involved being able to see people's farts, and while I can understand their reaction to this wish compared to many others, that included wanting a cancer-ridden sister to be well for a day, Emma's character, after reading some of her son's writing out loud in the headmistress's office, chose to pull him out into the hallway and, rather than join in the school's derision of his chosen topic, apologizes to him for his having to endure a mindset that did not appreciate his comic genius. Not exactly what the son, nor the audience, had expected her to say, and I loved her for it.

A very timely reminder to me to not allow others who are not on the same path to direct me with the sign posts on theirs.

And hey, that Kelly Clarkson can sing.

pollock

Watched Pollock last night, my rule for not watching or reading anything that's going to detract unnecessarily from my focus on the positive set aside temporarily. Not very interested in pursuing the  tormented artist theme. What I am interested in is, what was the motivation for Lee Krasner to stand by her man? The infidelity, the booze, the abuse - sorry if I'm ruining the plot for you :~) - why did she stay, refusing to give him a divorce? "He's a great artist," comes out of her mouth I lost track of how many times.

Don't know anything about her, haven't read anything about her side of the story. Just wondering - is there a place of transcendence where an individual is so inspired and believes in what another person is capable of, that what they see is the trait or talent or end product of that other person, and all that matters is that it is brought into the world?

my house in umbria

Not exactly qualifying as a spiritual film, I enjoyed My House in Umbria nonetheless for its ability to transport me to the magical light of Tuscany under any circumstances. The scant few phrases of reviews I glanced at in the opening lines of Google search results for the link provided above tell me that this movie was not reviewed well by those who are paid to do such things. No matter. I have different criteria. What I like - hearing Italian being spoken; watching Italian food being prepared; seeing Italian small-town/country-living architecture; a surprising, happy ending as a result of someone making a choice from the depths of their being, a difficult choice, but the right one. When we realize what's running us, these choices get easier and easier to make. 

magnificence

If you haven't watched this, carve out a an eleven minute period of your life sometime soon and do. Watch. Relax. Become inspired by the reminder from a fellow human following his bliss to reconnect with yours.

And maybe dance this weekend.

Spiritual Movies Part-I've-Lost-Track

Last night I watched Dragonfly with Kevin Costner and Kathy Bates. During the opening scenes, I thought that this one would lose out to my filter for movies that look like they were made for network TV, but I'm glad I waited it out. A tad too much thriller aspect for my tastes, and it got me thinking about human distortion about how the "other side" might choose to communicate with us  - I don't think it would be as complicated as popular media like to portray - but overall, I enjoyed the film because of the story's willingness to take us places and ask questions we normally wouldn't. The line, "Belief gets us there," captured it best in my mind.

less hollywood, more spirit

My search for meaningful film has led me to the library and off-beat rental store. If you read my latest newsletter, you may have investigated the 50 Spiritual Movies link - I decided to track down the titles on that list that I haven't watched, to see if they might add in a positive way to my daily quest for artful living experience.

Groundhog Day and Shawshank Redemption are hard acts to follow. The first title on the list that showed up on hold at the library was Box of Moonlight. Not even in the same league, I'm sorry to say - the story not even an eighth as compelling or desirable to suspend disbelief to enjoy.  There was definitely quirkiness in the supporting character who sold stolen lawn ornaments to fund his off-the-grid lifestyle who was teaching the uptight middle-aged main character how to lighten up and live a little. In the end, or rather from the beginning, I wasn't hooked by the plot or the transformation.

Harumph. Next!