Six weeks ago, I moved.
Not the farthest move I've ever had to make, or the most stuff I've ever transported across county lines, but a substantial move nonetheless.
The only things to go missing in action so far are the book I was reading the day before I vacated the premises, a telephone, and a cardboard box full of light bulbs. I may have to accept that they fell victim to the mighty garage troll upon whose domain they intruded for awhile before they disappeared.
Most items have been brought in to the house, with a few still considering where they might best come to rest. I'm sure they'll be letting me know any time now where that will be.
Many culminations are at work here - dreams that I've had for some time forming a vortex of change and challenge. Good change and good challenge, but equally good resistance toys are also in order.
I've written about another instance in my life when huge dreams came true - escaping small-town myopia, and finding a way to live overseas - based on what I believe was the focus I maintained with all my fantasy energies for several years on what it was that made my heart sing.
And did it ever. But there came a point when I remember thinking, is this it? I got my dream - why doesn't it feel super-stupendous-fantabulous-happily-ever-after, all excitement/all the time?
My shadow side was operating at full capacity, a force with which my tender twenty-three-year-old self just wasn't ready to deal. It would require another seventeen years of hitting my head against a brick wall before allowing my demon-slaying status to kick in.
Not being the least bit interested in repeating said head-bashing, I am instead looking forward to building an everyday existence that satisfies and nurtures this time around, one that is thoughtfully entertained rather than left to happenstance.
Because that truism, "If I'd known then what I know now", well, it's true, and there's accountability in them thar hills. I DO know more now, and I owe it to myself to apply what I've learned.
Such as:
1) Ancestral baggage stops here. Options and choices are available. Believing I have no power to change my circumstances just doesn't cut it anymore.
2) I am not operating in a vacuum. There are people on this earth whose purpose it is, among other things, to help me out when I need it. Blows my mind.
3) The good stuff just keeps coming. Really. Granted, it may arrive in costume, disguised as something or someone intent on ruining my day, but the crafty little buggers actually have dual passports, summering in Gift-Giving as well.
4) LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. It knows, and is always trying to communicate with you. Whether or not you are paying attention is another matter altogether.
5) Permission is granted. The only person I'm fooling about being happy is myself, when I assume I need to earn it somehow.
6) Dark chocolate is key for nutritional balance.
New surroundings, new routines, not so new lessons. It just feels like that way when yet another opportunity to finally get it comes along.
And they'll keep coming, until we do.
Never-Ending Dodge Ball, or Red Rover, Red Rover, send a certain-to-get-your-attention-life-crisis right over?
Personally, I prefer Ally, Ally Oxen Free.
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