Sunday, May 13, 2007

smarter, slower, deeper It is mid-January as I write this – just about the time that many new year’s resolutions begin to crash and burn, I’ll wager. Personally, I don’t partake in that ritual anymore. The only memory that I can resuscitate on the matter involves me at age 9 pledging as of January 1 to no longer fight with my little brother. Those sentiments of peace and good will probably lasted all of an hour before irritation exceeded tolerance levels. If I’d known then what I know now, I would have sat myself down and said, “Listen. You and I both know that your brother is not going to be any less annoying in January than he is right now. He’s seven, he can’t help it. Let’s use our brains here and corral our energy around something -” “Hey, who the heck are you?” “I’m your Older but Wiser Self. Pleased to make your acquaintance again, I’m sure.” “But my brother is such a dork – he’s always getting into my stuff, and he’s just stupid!” “I know. Right now he’s not the easiest to get along with. But there will come a time when he is, trust me. Twenty years from now you will appreciate the man he has become.” “Twenty years from now?” “Right – hard to imagine, but it goes quickly. You still listen to music a lot?” “Yeah, I guess so.” “Good. Don’t stop. It made such a difference, and I’m glad you did that.” Not buying into the resolution industry's way of doing business doesn’t mean I don’t set goals for myself or ride the clean-slate vibe this time of year exudes. I just give myself more of a chance to succeed than the proverbial snowball in hell. There is much power and much privilege involved with...
still small voice It's 3:37 PM - do you know where you still small voice is? I've been thinking a lot about mine lately - what it is, what it means, how it works, what its favorite color might be. Over the past decade the little bugger's dimensions may have morphed at times to shrill and gargantuan, but I have to admit that it wouldn't have gotten my attention any other way. No matter the proportions it takes on, it is mine and mine alone. No one else could tickle its fancy or could possibly identify with it. And no one else is supposed to. That's the whole idea. Unfortunately, many of us on the planet find ourselves born into families and raised in religious communities and immersed in cultural swimming pools that have a vested interest in drowning out that still small voice. Of course, at some point along the way, most of theirs had been similarly smothered, so this saga takes on a chicken-or-the-egg quality. Eventually something has to just clear the barnyard. In the meantime, those of us who manage to resurrect those voices and begin to listen to them again, I'm encouraging you to form your own dousing squads and practice those skills. You know, the ones that effectively put a damper on any detected attempts to mess with said voices, yours or anyone else's. The trick here is to not get caught up in the very mindset out of which you've recently extracted yourself. Requiring someone else to view something the way you do, well, that's where the seeds of enmity are planted. Give them enough time and attention and they will grow to embody the fate of the cast of Romeo and Juliet. Or the storyline of 911. Instead, try diffusing those energy hooks early on with...

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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