Sunday, May 13, 2007

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snake oil One person's snake oil is another person's godsend. And vice versa. But you've got to be clued into which is which, for you, to know the difference, for you. Sounds simple, doesn't it? But most of us, I would contend, carry on with our lives from day to day in a not-so-blissful state of not-knowing. I woke up to this fact recently, again, after realizing that a particular situation was, after all was said and done, not good enough for me. Not "not good enough" as in, see that sofa over there? It needs to be champagne beige or I'm outta here. But "not good enough" as in, a little piece of "Me" dies with every moment that this person, place or thing continues to be what or who it is in all its glory. If that continues, pretty soon I won't exist. And why, you may ask, does a little piece of you die? Very good question. A little piece of us dies because the opposite isn't happening. Interaction around someone or some thing isn't providing nurture, strength, encouragement, a lightness of being. Instead we feel drained, fatigued, dragged down, lost. Time spent where life is not breathing through you with excitement, with anticipation, with love, well, that just ain't livin'. Our souls get sapped when there is a consistent withdrawal of energy rather than a consistent deposit of energy into what we are doing. Over time, we get tired, figuratively and literally, because our tanks are empty, and worse than not refilling, we start eating away at ourselves on some level since we need something upon which to subsist. There may be small subtle indications that things are amiss, but we ignore them because we want to believe otherwise. We want to sustain an idea or goal or...
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the chute I started a new job today (well, three days ago now). I started a new job that has been a long time coming, waiting patiently for me to get ready for it. The right circumstances and events had to be orchestrated by the universe. Relationships had to be seeded and watered and nurtured over many years. Subsets of skills had to be acquired, one by one. Confidence had to be allowed and owned. Then, and only then, the mother of all vortexes could open up to transfer a dream from my vibrational escrow account and place it on my doorstep. How do I know these things? Because of how it felt. Effortless (mostly, when I got out of the way). Instinctual. The next logical step. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of a time in my youth when a similar sort of situation lined up for me. You may have read about that adventure. Remembering that period in my life gives me some excellent perspective from which to savor this latest round of delight even more. What I didn't know back then: 1) This too shall pass. The momentary elation of landing a job, nailing interviews, knowing people are saying nice things about you - all that is great for a few minutes, then the hard work comes along fast and furious, during which you continue to build an artful life from moment to moment in addition to your identity in the job, and that is sweet; 2) Attaining a dream doesn't have to be a disorienting experience. Now that this one is out of the hopper, what other cool stuff is coming up behind it, now that there is room in the chute for more? Knowing what I know now, I have just as much enthusiasm around...

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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