Last night three gentlemen contacted me via Plenty of Fish, a free dating site, from which I have had very little communication since I posted my profile awhile ago. So last night was a little bizarre, but interesting, in its abundance.
Each situation presented me with an issue that I have dealt with in the past and could choose to do so again, but - nah. The first one lives in a cool college town an hour and a half from here, where many members of my tribe probably live and I would love living there. However, no more long distance relationships, unless the guy flies me in every weekend! I liked how he communicated - his email said - "You're so far away." That was it. I replied that yes, that sucked, that I had been in a few LDRs and they seemed to promote an unrealistic view of the person and the relationship, and he wrote back saying the same thing, and bummer. That was cool.
The second one was from someone who wrote very little about himself in his profile and wanted to talk on the phone, right away, with nothing to go on and nothing to give me an idea of whether or not I'd WANT to talk to him on the phone. He has two sons with Asperger's, which was an interesting lead-in, but the weirdness around his communication style made my decision for me.
The third seemed intelligent enough, but he also lives an hour and a half away, and with the photo he included of him carrying a protest sign in a march somewhere and from the quote he chose to put in his first email to me that included the words "protest" and "conformity", I knew that his political beliefs would not have room for my non-protest, leading-by-example kind of non-conformity.
It might look like I'm being picky from the outside, but on the inside it feels like liberation, from making excuses for people in their inappropriateness for me, and in doing the female thing of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. It felt great to give myself the benefit of the certainty, in trusting my intuition and saving myself from unnecessary heartache.
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