Wednesday, January 30, 2008

it was simply there

At the moment when I met my therapist--which happened "accidentally," I wasn't looking for a therapist--at that moment, I knew I was going to sober up. I had no doubts. It was totally clear to me. I've tried since then to reproduce or manufacture this kind of doubtless certainty, and it can't be manufactured. It emerged out of life itself. It was simply there. In fact, it almost seems like in that moment, my sobering up had already happened. Would I have stayed sober without my therapist? No way to know. But I can't really explain why I stopped. Or why the person sitting next to me in the bar never did.

Is wanting to know also an addiction?

************

Hi, my name is Deb, and I'm a reason-aholic.

Jan 30, 2008 6:51:38 PM | ear candy

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more Joan An addictive habit is an old familiar pattern that we have learned. It happens automatically. Some feeling or thought arises, and suddenly we want a drink, a cigarette, a sexual encounter, or our favorite train of thought (maybe dreaming about what we will someday become, or thinking compulsively about all the ways we've been mistreated and victimized). And this isn't just a vague take-it-or-leave-it kind of desire. It feels like an irresistible, compelling force. It seems like something we must have or do, like our very survival is at stake. And is some cases, as the addiction progresses, we will do amazing things to satisfy it. We will drive for miles in the middle of the might to buy cigarettes, and we will keep smoking even though we are dying of emphysema. We have to do it. Or so we think and feel. *********** The same thing happens with so-called awakening. There are moments of clear seeing, and then the old view comes back and seems to overwhelm us again. Empty, spacious awareness appears to contract back down to the tight little reactive capsule of "me," the character in the story. How does that happen? How does it shift? Is there any choice involved? This is a question to live with. Watch and see, moment to moment, how these shifts occur, between clarity and mind smog, between freedom and compulsion. Taking the smog personally, or viewing it as an obstacle, is just more smog. Simply be curious about the whole movement--the flip back and forth--see it, observe and investigate it. Don't settle for anyone else's answers. Look for yourself. To whom do these apparent flips occur? Is there some individual who owns these experiences, who has them? Or is that merely an idea, a mental image, a sensation? ********** I...
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holy moley macaroni When you manage to stay connected to your Energy stream, you always win. And you know what, somebody else doesn't have to lose for you to win. There is always enough. -- Abraham ************* Holy moley macaroni. I'd been thinking about the concept of claiming what is mine by birthright in terms of self-enhancing beliefs, and was given an opportunity by my casting director to apply that knowing just a little while ago. The instant I decided that I would embrace and run with that opportunity, at least three circumstances in my life shifted, some of them dramatically, right there in front of my eyes. Whoa. This shit works, people. And it is SO TRUE. There is always enough, there is more than enough, for everyone.

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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