Saturday, February 23, 2008

rewind

I just woke up from another one of those dreams.

I’m in Rome. I’m on a break of some sort and have made plans to travel somewhere. I’m with several people I know and we are about to get started on a trip together. But all of a sudden they’ve headed off without me. I discover as I attempt to catch up with them, thinking I know the general direction in which we were all to go, that I am missing several basic pieces of travel paraphenalia - passport, cellphone, credit card, umbrella. I have a box that I’m tucking my few personal belongings inside. While I’m walking along, trying to get to where I think my friends will be, I consider just stopping and taking a break by myself. Fnding them now will be nearly impossible.

Then I wake up.

I have this dream now and then, variations on the same theme. I’m in Rome, I need to get somewhere, and I can’t get there because of some obstacle. I think it’s very interesting that this time dropping the obstacle is an option.

The other dream I have on occasion is being in a teaching environment, and I can’t find my gradebook, or the seating chart, or no one will tell me where my classroom is, or the students are rowdy beyond control. My buddhist monk brother with a day job tells me that he has this kind of anxiety dream still as well, where he is on the submarine he rode around the world on for awhile in the Navy and things go wrong.

I think dreams reflect where we are at any given time with our stuff, and I'm glad to see this shift, however minute it may seem. Next time I'd like to realize in the dream that I can take whatever course of action I can conjure, and walk off into the sunset.

Feb 23, 2008 4:44:26 AM | energy

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the crud So I've stayed home from my day job for two days now, nursing myself back to health from a bout with The Crud - sinus stuff that aggravates a sore throat. Sleeping, drinking hot water with lemon and cayenne, and taking some over-the-counter stuff too I think is covering all the bases. I do feel better, although not quite where I want to be. All in due time. I watched some of the solar ecplise last night before I crashed again. I wondered what went through the minds and hearts of early man when they saw this kind of thing rocking their perceived world. Punishment from the gods, the world falling apart, or just something cool going on up in the heavens? Of course we'll never know, but I'd like to think they took it all in stride, like dealing with sabertoothes. Just like I'll be feeling better here in a day or two.
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back to it Back to work today. I'm observing where I let my energy go as I ease back into this work-a-day life, monitoring when I send some off on a wild goose chase and calling it back before I do myself psychic or immune-system-affecting harm. Goal-setting activities for the year are due today and I just put the finishing touches on mine. No need to obsess about them, since they represent a checkmark on someone else's list to me. What jazzes me more is following the path of becoming more and more of who I really am - I wonder how that kind of goalsetting would fly in HR? Lately the spotlight in the interrogation room has been focused on confronting limiting beliefs, questioning their validity, seeing the ridiculousness in how Belief A does not compute with Reality B. Picturing a belief as my reflection in the water looking down from a dock, and I can just as easily walk away from it and erase it forever as stand there and maintain it. Watching the belief dangle from a string that’s held between my fingers over the Grand Canyon, just a nano-second away from being let go of, floating away to the bottom on the breeze. Until one day, as a friend so aptly put it, "Oops. Guess it must have fallen in."

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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