Connected and Committed

beast wars part 1 and 2

employment or bondage? redux

"Is it an employment "opportunity" or bondage? Because what you really want is freedom, many of you equate working for other people as bondage, but if you would realize that the corporation, as an entity, is not so different from the individual, it might be easier to understand the employer's decisions. Long before the buildings or the workers, the visionary of the corporation had an idea for something that began summoning Energy. So years later maybe you are hired as a part of that team, and without realizing it you are now the beneficiary of that continuing flowing Energy. When you step into one of those employment positions, Life Force is summoned through you because of the vision of the founder--unless you're bucking the current. Most get into that fast moving stream and paddle against the current--and then complain about it being a hard ride--where they could get into their canoe and easily paddle with the fast moving current. You can soar and thrive in any environment as long as you are not seeing things that you are using as your reason to paddle against the current. And so, it doesn't really matter what others are deciding. The questions is: "As I am choosing to stand here, it's a way for dollars to flow through me in exchange for the effort I am offering. Am I predominantly letting the Energy flow through me, or not? Am I letting it in?" --- Abraham

~*~*~*~*~

Found this in my own archives. Cool.

faith for skeptics

You are intellectual, and you like the articulation and the pondering of things. But when you ponder in the absence of an answer for awhile, you get so used to the feeling of that non-answer that you train yourself into the familiarity of the vibration that doesn't allow the answer. That's why children learn so much faster than most adults; they're not polishing their questions.

Question--pauuuuuuuuuuse. Question--pauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse.

In other words, it's like saying, "I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know; I really want to know, I don't know."

And every time you say, "I really want to know," this is the interesting thing: You build up a tension within you, because every time you really want to know, Source puts it there (in your escrow)-so you really want to know, Step One--bam, bam--Step 2. And you've expanded. Every time you ask, you expand, but every time you ask, you don't go where you expanded. Every time you ask you expand, but then when you ask again, you dont go where you expanded. Everytime you ask, you expand, but every time you ask again you don't go where you've expanded.

Sometimes people say Abraham, now that I know you, it's like all this stuff was lined up outside my door. And I opened the door a crack and whoa!!! People say, is it normal for all hell to break loose in one's life when they begin doing this work? And we say it is a little bit like you've pulled a rubber band back, back, back, back, and when you let go, you really fly far.

It's just a matter of trusting. And we know trust, and the word faith, are so annoying, but we want you to trust in the system, trust in the law, trust in our knowledge that your vibrational escrow is brimming. Trust that it's there. Then do everything in your power to get in there. And we don't think asking another question feels like it's getting you in there.

Asking another question just sort of nails your feet to the floor where you are--"But, but, but, but, but, but." When you're trying to get into the escrow, you're trying to imagine what it's like, you're trying to describe it, you're trying to feel it, you're trying to pretend it, you're trying to catch the vibrational essence of it.

It's an emotional journey. Would you call yourself an emotional person? There is nothing more delicious than an intellectually focused asker and an emotionally willing listener. Best combination in the world. Because your mind keeps you asking, and then your quest for relief and joy and feeling good helps you soften. 

-----------

Abraham, Denver 2008

Perfect proportions

I started doing my taxes today instead of making a trip to an art museum. Snow will do that to plans. You drive a little ways and surmise that bodily harm, structural damage, frazzled nerves--so not worth it. IT will wait. So I wrapped my brain around the online application I've used for years--the same one that's been bought out several times and passed along with my records intact. And put some effort into getting the online copies of my W2s whose physical counterparts arrived just a few hours later in my snail mail box. Thanks to my creativity jump-starting my jewelry designing biz, I'll have a nice little chunk of change direct-depositing my way shortly. Thank you, universe!

So it's been a little more than a week since emancipation day. I've checked in with my gut every day to see how we're doing, and each time it's a solid thumbs-up. There have been a few times where upheaval and change reigned supreme over blissmonger land when such was not the radar blip case at all. Anxiety to the max was the order of the day, and into the night. But here, now--not so.

Perhaps there is a wholesale clearing of the decks going on. Perhaps nothing in my life will look remotely the same a few months from now. It's possible. It's happened before, on a regular basis actually. And it's likely to happen again.

At some point however ther is the birthing of the new, and with that comes pain, of letting go of old behaviors and routines, of assimilating the new ones. Realizations up the ying-yang. Duh! I could have had a V-8! moments. And we always have the choice of much pain we endure.

I'm voting for about 65% less this time around. That feels about right. Just enough for my humanness to grab onto, and just enough for my divineness to take hold. Perfect proportions.

vortex of experience

Through the magic of the internet, I spent time today in the space of at least four distinct thought systems that do not overlap--at all. Astounding, really, the ability we have to encounter such vastly different frameworks, partake of them as we will and broaden our horizons so abundantly. Blows me away. A definite expansion on Oh, The Places You'll Go! theme. As I navigate through this new livelihood pliant place I find myself in, the perspectives and ranges of experience are truly feeding me to take me to the next level.   

Galileo Galilei

As environmental scientist William Eddy pointed out in a visionary essay, Galileo declared that he knew what he knew based on his own personal sense experience. Copernicus set forth precisely the same ideas, but based on his claims on hypothesis alone. Galileo changed the face of science forever by proclaiming that personal experience could lead to knowledge of the truth. Not surprisingly, the Church--the established authority, which laid claim to all knowledge by fiat--reacted with full force, with unremitting determination to make Galileo disavow not his ideas but the basis on which he asserted them to be true.

Extraordinary Knowing: Science, Skepticism, and the Inexplicable Powers of the Human Mind by Elizabeth Lloyd Mayer, PhD

river valley

So I had this dream sometime this early AM.

I came upon a beautiful vista, green and lush and with a river at the bottom which I was looking down on from about 200 yards up, a sheer drop-off. The energy around this place was that I was expected to get to the other side of the chasm for some reason or event, but didn't know how to. It felt like I was going to accomplish it in any case, just that at that moment, the solution was a tad vague.

Of course I see the analogy in my livelihood pliancy at the moment, among other endeavors that the dream symbolism may apply to as well. I went looking for similar images on the internet, and this is what I found:

Credits to this company that posted the image on their site. If I can in any way drive traffic to you, excellent.

I don't think the dream means I'm going to China, although that would be a fascinating twist. I think it means that I'm fine, that all is well, and keep reaching for those ever better feeling thoughts.

And finding a store that carries Australian black licorice today was a good sign, too.

Here you go

These are here because Glubble allows one to click on links within YouTube and go onto undesired pages. Sorry, Little Man, but this is the compromise.

arrow boy

More loose ends are tied up, and more untangle themselves

A former coworker sent me a Monster.com job description, and another sent me an email cc’d to his friend the advertising and IT recruiter. Updated my Monster.com profile–hadn’t used it since 2004 :-) –-with a photo, and realized where I’m going next in my job search: crafting the most beautiful, tight, concise, magical description of my wacked out interests, eternal magic goals, former astounding accomplishments and present juicy talents, that I have ever flowed to paper or screen.

Got my eyes checked and was told they are amazingly healthy. Picked out a new pair of hip-looking ( to me)  glasses at a great price thanks to my benefits still being in place.

Picked up a free museum pass from the library for the Detroit Institute of Arts, the one T was raving about a few days ago. The pass is good for a week, so I’ll probably be going on Wednesday, as it is closed Mondays and Tuesdays, and I’d rather not go on a weekend anyway.

Then to get my severance package document signed and notarized and dropped off at my former place of employment. A few people I know were at the reception desk when I arrived, so it was good to be taken care of rather than a perfunctory, “I’ll make sure your envelope makes it to the right person,”and exchanging of emails to stay in touch. It still sort of surprises me that people expect me to be devastated, and it’s still fun to disavow them of that notion.

Then to another library where I picked up some “What Color is Your Parachute” type books. I loved that book and all its various editions in the 70s and 80s. I think the last one I looked at might have been 2004. It would be fun to look through all of them to see where Bolles has gone with his thinking since the beginning.

Talked to my brother for a bit before he had to get back to a “flap” at the EPA. We ended out the conversation with him saying, “Well, congratulations!” Even though it’s been awhile since he’s had to do one (like, 18 years!), he’ll be a big help with organizational veiwpoints on resumes and cover letters, etc.

Hmmm…I hear bumping and stomping downstairs–could someone be moving in? Have to see if I have new neighbors…(UPDATE: Yes!! Now my heating bill just dropped by at least 35%).

Well, tonight is the Arrow of Light ceremony for Little Man at cub scouts, and then tomorrow, I think I will explore the wifi and/or internet capabilities at my local library, perhaps to find a nesting spot I can claim a few Buffer Days or so a week, when I’m not traveling hither and yon.

Life is good. Rock on.

livelihood pliant

Yesterday, which most everyone will probably associate with the inauguration hoopla, I was busy getting "transitioned" from being employed, to not.

So. I could certainly tell one kind of story. But I choose to tell an entirely different sort of story.

I am livelihood pliant at the moment, and plan to stay that way.

For many years now I’ve considered myself as being self-employed and subletting my services out to those who pay for those services, do I don’t feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me, I don’t feel that the corporation I worked for owes me anything, I don’t feel at a loss. No tears have been shed, only happy dances danced.

When I was escorted out of the building and found myself in my car and not sure I should be behind the wheel of a chunk of Detroit steel on the highway just yet, I drove a mile away to a Caribou Coffee, pulled out my netbook, and started emailing the people I don’t work with anymore to tell them goodbye and to keep in touch. Of course most of those relationships will dissolve once there is no daily basis of communication and context for them, and that’s fine. I’m hoping to keep a few of them alive.

Then I called M, and decompressed a bit and felt the adrenalin flowing from the fight or flight response. We decided that I would go over to his place for awhile to relax and unwind from the stressful event. Then I called T, and we made a date to have lunch today, which we did here: (dang, I forgot to save the bloody photo on my camera phone. Oh well. Next time.) Then I replied to some of the people who responded to my email, drank some tea, ate a bagel, felt like I could drive safely, and took off for M's.

On the way I decided to call my parents rather than wait. I’m sure they are still concerned, but I did my best to straighten them out about how this is all going to go down.

Hung out with M, did some shopping at Trader Joe’s, realized that I probably won’t be frequenting the location that I’ve been going to for five or so years near where I used to work, and then drove home.

After I dropped Little Man off at school, I emailed one of my favorite former coworkers and asked her to put my stuff in boxes, as I felt better about her doing it than anybody else. It filled four small boxes. Plus my exercise ball chair, various collage canvases and many boxes of tea. I made an appointment with the HR person for him to officially deliver it to me this afternoon, after I met T for lunch and after I met another friend in the mid afternoon instead of tonight like we’d been planning for awhile, and after I’d made an appointment to get my eyes checked while still being covered with insurance.

Which I am until the end of February. Technically I’m on the books until Feb. 2, so that we get coverage until the end of the month. And then my severance package will support twelve weeks of livelihood pliability.

I’ve been observing my gut, and I am on stable, energetically happy ground. This opportunity is just that, and I’m going to milk it for all that it’s worth.

I’m watching the inspirations that float into my awareness and jotting them down. Like, imagine what your ideal day would be like, and live it for the next month. Because you can.

Like what places in the area have you not been since you moved here ten years ago that you’d like to visit on a day trip? Like here, and here, and here.

What information resources would you like to see cross your path, what out-of-the-norm employment advice or guides? (Part of our "transitioning” is a free course at an outplacement agency that does a very good job of helping you get your head around what just happened, pull a resume together, practice interviewing skills, and probably take interest surveys, that kind of thing. That will be next week.)

What person or group is currently putting together a project that needs me to help bring it to life?

What kind of people will I work with next?

What kind of physical setting will I work in next?

How will my work day look?

What creative projects will call me to them?

What new adventures will I find myself taking up?

How will I integrate the buffer days, work days, etc., and the 80/20 principals?

I’ve been working toward this for a very long time.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

 

the more things change, the more they stay the same

For over thirty years the Wassons devoted much of their leisure to dissecting, defining, and tracing this difference until it led to the thesis...that at some point in the past, perhaps five thousand years ago, our European ancestors had worshiped a psychoactive mushroom, and that their descendants had divided according to whether the facinans (fascination) or the tremendum (fear) of its holy power predominated.

Huston Smith

~*~*~*~*~

This further confirms for me that humans are truly the distinct but part-of-the-whole entities that we say we are. Some of us are built for emotional, spiritual, metaphysical and/or out-of-the-norm experiences, and some of us are not. I've been investigating writers and thinkers who have experienced entheogenic substances, the alternative label to the negatively connoted one these substances have acquired in recent times. Not because I'm wanting to participate necessarily, but because it's yet another fascinating layer of man's search for meaning that I wasn't aware of. There's a theory out there that the cave drawings around the world dating from upwards of 40,000 years ago were produced by humans in ecstatic states. The commonality of subjects and renderings from continent to continent is remarkable.

It certianly would explain a few things, and opens up more interesting questions than what are the Obamas going to wear to the inaugural festivities.

David Whyte rocks

I just feel better reading this:

What To Remember When Waking
by David Whyte

In that first
hardly noticed
moment
in which you wake,
coming back
to this life
from the other
more secret,
moveable
and frighteningly
honest
world
where everything
began,
there is a small
opening
into the day
which closes
the moment
you begin
your plans.

What you can plan
is too small
for you to live.

What you can live
wholeheartedly
will make plans
enough
for the vitality
hidden in your sleep.

To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others.

To remember
the other world
in this world
is to live in your
true inheritance.

You are not
a troubled guest
on this earth,
you are not
an accident
amidst other accidents
you were invited
from another and greater
night
than the one
from which
you have just emerged.

Now, looking through
the slanting light
of the morning
window toward
the mountain
presence
of everything
that can be,
what urgency
calls you to your
one love? What shape
waits in the seed
of you to grow
and spread
its branches
against a future sky?

Is it waiting
in the fertile sea?
In the trees
beyond the house?
In the life
you can imagine
for yourself?
In the open
and lovely
white page
on the waiting desk?

trains

manna from heaven

There's a strange notation on my credit card account online--a credit, from an unknown merchant, in roughly the same amount that I am now remembering from a few months ago, the same thing happening. How bizarre. When it happened before, I figured it would clear itself out and the credit would disappear from whence it came.  Now here it is again.

So I'm going to leave it, again. I'm going to appreciate the unseen workings of the universe that put it there, and even if there is some perfectly logical explanation for it, I'd rather
not know what it is. I prefer exercising this particular trust muscle, making room for more.

'Cuz there's more than enough, and there's always more.

 

the men who stare at goats

"Have you read a book called The Men Who Stare at Goats?" I ask Rupert.

He looks at me as though I'm getting ready to make a joke at his expense, and so I explain to him that it's a serious and rigorously researched book. According to its author, the journalist and documentary filmmaker Jon Ronson, certain highly placed officials within the United States military and governing agencies have long been exploring the potentially lethal power of mind over matter. Hard as it is to believe, large sums of American tax revenue have gone into experimental attempts to thwart the enemy by becoming invisible, walking through walls, implanting negative thoughts, and cultivating a paralyzing gaze--a gaze that can make hamsters keel over and goats stop dead in their tracks...

Once again, I think of George saying, It's all about fear.

--The Wishing Year - Noelle Oxenhandler

economy sustainable based on well-being

The danger is not lest the soul should doubt whether there is any bread, but lest, by a lie, it should persuade itself that it is not hungry.

--Simone Weil

Another staple of blissmongering: choosing not to believe the lie. We are conditioned every day of our lives to extol its virtues and stoke its appetite (have you noticed how feeding it doesn't change anything, rather it needs more to sustain itself?).

Buy this. Wear this. Look like this. Study this. Marry this.

Bottom line is, disregard what your soul is telling you, at all costs.

Prisons, hospitals, rehab centers, advertising, marketing, television, the self-help and helping industries all subsist on our buying in to this lie. If the powers that be could grasp how much money could be made in an economy sustainably based on folks who's well-being is firmly in place, well, there you go.

against logic and reason

Against logic and reason, lacking irrefutable proof that we are right, and sometimes contrary to our own objective interests, every society that we know about since the appearance of modern humans on the planet has maintained a steadfast belief in the existence of supernatural realms and beings...We have learned something more about  the workings of society and its institutions, but we are no nearer to understanding  why the common ground of all religions everywhere should consist of remarkable, unproven and deeply illogical beliefs in spiritual and supernatural levels of reality and their alleged influences upon our daily lives.

--Graham Hancock, Supernatural:Meetings with the Ancient Teachers of Mankind

 

in case you were wondering

Mercury turns retrograde January 11th, 2009 8 Aquarius - 12:39 pm EST
Mercury turns direct February 1st, 2009 at 21 Capricorn - 3:04 am EST

Mercury turns retrograde May 7th, 2009 at 2 Gemini- 12:55 am EST
Mercury turns direct May 30th, 2009 at 22 Taurus - 9:18 pm EST

Mercury turns retrograde September 7th, 2009 at 6 Libra - 12:39 am EST
Mercury turns direct September 29th, 2009 at 21 Virgo - 9:03 am

Mercury turns retrograde December 26th, 2009 at 21 Capricorn - 10:32 am EST
Mercury turns direct January 15th, 2010 at 5 Capricorn - 12:48 pm EST

more pieces of the whole coming together

Perhaps I don’t even need to say it, you’ll pick it up from the screen, but my energy is off the charts right now.

Ideas and thoughts are flowing like crazy today, for my ebook, for my general well-being, for my desires, for my life.

I’m listening to this song on my mp3 player, the one I was playing full blast in my car a few summer’s ago the day I found out that someone had rated me as one of the their blogosphere rockstars -  and groovin’ on life.

If I were to take a gander at surmising what triggered this avalanche of blissmongering, I’d have to say I experienced a shift in what I’ve been conjuring in my brain when I say, “What do I want?” I think it’s got to do with reading The Wishing Year. I think it’s got to do with focusing on desire, toying with toggling it as far up as it will go.

I think it’s got to do with my hair growing out a bit from last week’s chop job–at my behest, several inches were chopped off. Now I look more like “me” to myself.

I think it’s got to do with being amazed and bemused at Little Man’s presumption that he could walk into the line in the lunchroom at his school, pick up a carton of chocolate milk and tell the lunch ladies he wanted one, with no money in his pocket, and them letting him have one and charging it to an account that apparently the school has for each kid, regardless of the family requesting one. He’s been doing this for awhile now, and his dad told me about it yesterday. I’ve been smiling at hiss chutzpah, and his naivete, and his awesome ability to get what he wants. So I’m not thrilled that he drinks so much milk, because I think drinking the enzymes that are good for baby cows but not all people contributes to his ear infections (when we switched him to soy milk when he was three, his ear infections stopped cold), and I’m not crazy about all that sugar he consumes on a daily basis.

But given that I’m in the place in my head where I remembered about the shoe incident with my mom (\a time when I wanted a pair of sneakers for school that didn't come from JCPenney, and even though she tried, her perceptions of abundance and worthiness wouldn't allow her to allow me to keep the purchase we made at an independent shoe store) I didn’t demand this morning that he stop consuming chocolate milk that red hot minute, I didn’t call the school and request that the ladies at the school not allow him to grab a carton anymore. I merely brought it up, and stated what my concerns were, and said we would be discussing an alternative that would meet both of our needs at some point soon, when I got to a place where I could feel centered in my body with my perceptions about the whole situation--I didn't voice that last part out loud, but that's what I meant. So that’s what we’re going to do.

Time to go home and see where else riding this energy wave takes me. Oh, and I’m ordering up a quick ride home tonight as oposed to the hour and half last night, Universe–got it?

different face, same guy

I was walking from the parking lot to go inside my local Kroger when I heard his voice the first time.

He was yelling, impatient, demanding, strident. Not someone I wanted to get to know.

It got worse inside the store.

His wife and son were with him, being subjected to this man's ire and sarcasm and verbal abuse as they wound their way up and down the aisles.

She was amazingly resigned and compact in her emotion. Honed over the many years they have been together, these two. Survival, her perception as the only option, from my observer subjective point-of-view. At least twelve or thirteen years, guessing by the looks of their son.

Her preferences, and the son's requests, were all shot down or belittled. The berating didn't stop once they left the building, either. At least several minutes were spent outside their vehicle in the parking lot, where temps were in the teens, him niggling over the details of a Kellogg coupon that wasn't redeemed correctly in his mind, reprimanding required.

Again, her soft-spoken handling of his tirade.

I imagine the son growing up to either explode in rage and frustration and kill this man for his barrage of ridicule, or to comprehend exactly how it is he wants to be treated, how he wants to live, and how he wants to treat others.

And either way he'll be reaching for relief.

  

retrograde

Retrograde Monday had me in stitches over more complications in my being able to use this antiquated system in order to help generate revenue for the company. Noticing it’s like the tangled forks story from an Abe track–long story short, if that’s the extent of my dipping below knowing and joy, then that’s cool. I was able to call upon friends in appropriate places in the company to resolve the issue, and witness someone else attempting to do the same thing for me but from a different mindset. Life is just so danged interesting

Had a blast talking with C on Skype–I was reminded of how strange it felt to be talking into the air the first few times I used that technology within Gmail. Quite liberating, indeed. During our conversation I was able to articulate out loud to myself, to understand what I have been thinking/knowing, that the reason my ebook isn’t coming together as quickly and as easily as other projects in the past is that I am tentative with what I am willing to reveal about myself during the creation of it, and hesitant about where it might take me in terms of reception and application.

So I'm just going to get over that, and start writing what wants to be written. Stories, from my life, and others, that I can recall, that illustrate what is in my heart.

I’ve finished The Wishing Year. Some great quotes that I may need to go back and find. But the ending pretty much has her spouting a definite Abe-ish outlook on her experiences and what she has concluded about wishing, belief, desire and intent, which was a long way from her initial, classically-trained, culturally-conditioned, linear, logical, suffering-aligned way of thinking about it all that we all more or less start out with as adults and then go from there. I would love to bump into her on the street and strike up a conversation about what she continues to observe in her experience now that she allows herself to deserve, be worthy, not have to suffer in order to get what she wants.

Bought myself some luscious candles at Pier 1 today, after finding a small plate with some overflowed melted-then-dried wax from last year and enjoying the pungent aroma of some kind of dark, exotic spices. I came home with a few tantalizing choices–patchouli, which is always yummy, oceana, citrus cilantro, and asian spice, which just may be the original one that sent me on my quest.

I figured out today how to load my mp3 player’s trove of favorite music onto my netbook–hallelujah, the heaven’s parted at that one. And I discovered a built-in calendar while showing my toy to a friend at work, that will come in handy, coordinating all the things I have written in three different places at home and work.Enjoying that little thing immensely.

bottom line

There is no duty we so underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.

-- Robert Louis Stevenson

~*~*~*~*~

I grow more and more convinced of this. And I also grow more and more convinced of how we are grouped in silos of belief and desire that allow some of us to resonate with this philosophy more than or less than others do, depending where we travel along a continuum of emotion that matches perfectly with where we fall on the deservability scale, and whether or not we are able to embrace the concept of personal empowerment and freedom. It all dovetails or co-mingles together, these basic premises of meaning. Do we feel guilty or threatened by claiming personal power, or stepping into being made in the image of god and all the creative power that implies in some circles? Do our beliefs resonate around the idea that we must pay a price for our good fortune? Do our thoughts fall into deep ruts in our neuropathways around not being worthy of what we desire?        

Or not?

I've spent many years in the quagmire of denying myself, and I've spent a few years in the spa of more soothing beliefs. I understand how compelling and defining and "real" the former can be, as I understand how the latter is perceived in those terms as well. 

And I keep coming back to the question, which feels better, gets the results I want, makes for a better world, serves me and others?

And which does not?

In my heart of hearts, I know that the treasure house from which the jewel moments come is never far away. But I feel like the character in Iris Murdoch's novels who says, "I know God exists, but I don't believe in Him." I know that a state of pure, undiluted happiness exists, but I'm not in touch with it. And the worst part of ti is, the not being in touch with it is just a kind of dull, background ache. It doesn't intensify into the fever of longing that once propelled me to leap onto my bike, drive through the cornfields, pound on the rectory door...and find my way to the monk from Thailand.

Knock and door shall be opened.

I've always believed this to be true, in the spiritual realm.

But what happens when you can't seem to muster up more than a tap?

~*~*~*~*~

The Wishing Year: A House, A Man, My Soul: A Memoir of Fulfilled Desires

Noelle Oxenhandler

how easy is it

New universes to explore

These blissmongering links are courtesy of Rob Brezsny and his Free Will Astrology newsletter.

I love stumbling upon universes that i didn't know existed. Except when they are so addicting I can't stop, like the Wimp videos. You have been warned.

Enjoy!

it shipped this morning!!

...and should arrive early next week. Can't wait to try out my new toy. I know that Little Man will commandeer it for awhile, but it's mine!

totality

 

My Osho Zen tarot card last night:

Totality:

"Every moment there is a possibility to be total. Whatsoever you are doing, be absorbed in it so utterly that the mind thinks nothing, is just there, is just a presence. And more and more totality will be coming. And the taste of totality will make you more and more capable of being total. And try to see when you are not total. Those are the moments which have to be dropped slowly, slowly. When you are not total, whenever you are in the head--thinking, brooding, calculating, cunning, clever--you are not total. Slowly, slowly slip out of those moments. It is just an old habit. Habits die hard. But they die certainly--if one persists, they die."

divine clearance

Why is it that some people don't seem to wait for that sense of divine clearance, for some kind of license or permit that falls from the sky, announcing to them," You've suffered enough. Now you can have what you wish." They simply more to Hawaii or take up skydiving or buy themselves a horse. hey don't seem to operate with the same sense of precarious balance, with the idea that light must follow dark, pleasure is the fruit of pain, and too much fun will tip the scales, attracting calamity. They don't seem to worry about satisfying the prerequisites. If they want Easter, with flowers and eggs and new life, they go for Easter, without the forty days of Lent. If they want sun, they go for sun, without twenty years of snow."

The Wishing Year: A House, A Man, My Soul - A Memoir of Fulfilled Desire - Noelle Oxenhandler

it's just not done

Nobody is ever met at the airport when beginning a new adventure.  It's just not done.

--Elizabeth Warnock Fernea

~*~*~*~

There are a few times this has applied in my experience, but when I stop and think about it, the majority of my new adventures included being met at the airport. Interesting....

Not sure why or how

Not completely sure why or how, but I am up at this crazy hour of 5:30 AM. Oy.

Make it okay

Instead of working so hard to make everything okay, perhaps it is more helpful to work hard at living with a world that rarely is.

--Seth Godin

Wow. This is so what I've been thinking lately. How I grew up thinking that it was within my power to change other people's behavior. How my days were filled with making lists of things to "fix," and that the lists never came to an end. How "problems" can be perceived as that, or just what life is showing up as right now--an interesting challenge to practice your personal cosmology on, and enjoy their propensity to expand you as a person. Or just to see what happens.

Watched The Kamasutra again last night, after a six or seven year gap of my initial viewing. It's impossible to enjoy it as much as I did the first time, but I did my best. I stopped at the part where Maya's lover is banished to the Valley of the Rocks, and I think the ending is what I'll like the most this time around. Walking into the wind and dust with the realization that life is just that. Powerful stuff.

I've had a week off from work, and the short stint I put in last week taking Little Man there for a change of scene and some fun on mom's computer was a tad surreal. Getting up tomorrow at 5:30 will be even more so, I'm sure. I tried doing it today to help make it less painful tomorrow, but it didn't happen. Oh well.

Picked up Once Again to Zelda: The Storied Behind Literature's Most Intriguing Dedications at the library yesterday. Intriguing, yes. Lots of evidence of sexual variation and madness amongst those who have penned our greatest stories. How bizarre. For instance, I don't recall ever having heard that Hermann Melville and Nathanial Hawthorne possibly had an attraction at one time. Passions are timeless.

bliss eye jewelry

Bliss eye necklace and earrings, made with vintage black glass beads and some of my own hand-crafted bliss eyes. Forget about the evil eye--utilize your bliss eye! :-)

expectation

This is from Seth Godin's blog post for today:

Happy new year

I don't like New Year's. Faux merriment, excessive drinking, ridiculous resolutions and general malaise. Not to mention Dick Clark.

There's one great opportunity, though... Brand new expectations are set, expectations just waiting to be shattered.

Like an empty Moleskin notebook, the possibilities are exciting. Why not exceed them?

The place where expectations are lowest: leadership. Everyone expects you to get in line and follow, not lead.

The opportunity this year is bigger than ever: to lead change, to create a movement in a direction you want to go. While the rest of your world huddles and holds back, here's a golden chance to use cheap media, available attention and great talent to make something that matters.

*~*~*~*~*

That last sentence really grabs me. That's all it's ever taken to change the world, eh? Cheap media, available attention and great talent. Of course now I know that if you've taken the time to marinate in your own joy pullers, all the more likely for things to happen and happen fast.

I need to be reminded of that today.

Four more days of no school and no break from mommy duties stretch out in front of me after four have already dissolved behind. This is my dark hour, when I can't breath and I imagine the world as I have come to know it has ended, as I can't function without a small person constantly in my sphere.

Joy pullers on high today. We'll see how that works.