Connected and Committed

museum l

extrovert with issues

Whew. I am exhausted. The good kind that comes after expending energy on a worthwhile endeavor, either physically- or temperament-intensive. And I have to interject here that I only just learned from the Typepad spell-check and recommend-er that that word, the long one that starts with "t" in the last sentence--it actually has four syllables, not three. Astounding.

So I spent several hours with the most delightful bunch of women this afternoon, something I've been doing a lot of lately, now that I stop to think about it. This group has a writerly bent to its reason for being, and I was warmly welcomed into their circle. That kind of openness and boundary-moving is quite rare, and I am in awe that it happened as naturally and as graciously as it did. Altering group dynamics is a tricky thing, and I hope to contribute as much as I glean from attending these gatherings, which I plan to do until my livelihood pliancy status changes.

I brought a draft of a piece I have been working on forever, recently reworked, and it was well received. So now with this confirmation that what I'm trying to introduce makes some sense, I can move on and fill in content, the part that feels like it will be the most fun and the fastest to come together, given that I have mounds of material piled up on the table from which to choose.

And my extrovert-with-issues psyche can recharge and rest up. Little Man is home from school tomorrow and the science museum is on the docket.

Oh boy.

every bit of it

Such a sweet cacophony of humanity today. People with their beliefs resisting all over the place, and some using humor to bring themselves back in alignment. Connections all around me like twine strung back and forth, back and forth, crazy patterns leading everywhere at once. Hearts breaking, and hearts opening. Souls soaring and souls perched, checking it out first. It's all good, it's all perfect. Every bit of it.

I'm an author of really good books

Transcript of an Abraham rampage of appreciation:

Better feeling thought: I'm an author of really good books.

 

The story goes something like: "I had an idea, and the idea was so powerful within me that I could not let go of it, and as I let it flow, it began to take shape on the page. And as I read what was written, it was pleasing to me, because not only was it delightful to read but it seemed meaningful to me on many levels. It was as if it was something I was being called toward, and once I started moving toward it, it felt good to move toward it.

 

"And so I let it flow through me onto the page and it felt good in the doing of it and then I thought about it and I realized the value of what I had going on, and then I decided I was going to make it happen, and it seemed that every effort I made at making it happen I seemed to be getting in my own way. And the story that was fun and flowing and felt so good suddenly became a sort of burden. It was an albatross that I began carrying around, and I came to not really even like the story anymore, because it represented my own inability to achieve something I really wanted, which seemed the opposite of what I was teaching.

 

"Then one day I decided to just stop trying so hard. I decided to let the story carry me. I decided to let the story take on a life of its own, and be the successful example that I was wanting to live. And as the story began to explain itself to me, it said, life is supposed to be good. Life is supposed to be fun. It said, there is a stream that flows and everything that I want is in this stream. It is a life-giving stream. It is a stream that was given birth to long before I came into this physical body, but it is a stream that has been dramatically enhanced since I've been in this physical body. It is the stream of life, but it is not only a stream of living, it is a stream of living in joy. Once I got my eyes fixated on that stream and where it was going and all the possibilities that were downstream, I began to let go of my worry about what wasn't happening, and I began to recognize all of the wonderful things that were happening.

 

"And somehow one day, don't know how it happened, don't even know what I did to make it happen, but somehow I felt myself let loose. And when I did, everything in my experience began to flow for me. Money began coming from all unimaginable places, people that I never met before began flowing into my experience, my life began taking on a shape and form the likes of which I have only dreamed about or maybe written about in my story.

 

"And now I began to be the liver of the dream that I had only written about. I began to understand the reason for my story. I began to understand that all I have to do is write it, and the universe will figure out how to deliver the details of it to me.

 

"Once I got that, now I'm floating free again."

 

That's the story that you're wanting to tell, that's the story that everyone's wanting to hear. That's the story of your life here on planet earth. And there is no story that you can't write. There is NO story that you do not have the ability to write, and there is no story that you write that the universe does not have the ability to deliver. You get to write the characters in. Write in the hard-nosed publishers. Write in the ones that don't know what they're doing. Write in the ones that--and hasn't every successful book got a long stream of those--oh yeah, it was turned down, it was turned down, it was turned down, it was turned down, it was turned down, it was turned down, and now, it's successful in all ways. So write your own stories on all subjects. Trust that the universe has the goods to deliver. It does.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

healing

totem

miles to go to hell

greetings from the ethers

I stopped in at some local metaphysical shops this morning, touching base with some new friends and experiencing some awesome energy. I was also inspired to have a card reading done by Heidi, who has an amazing collection of diverse decks that she pulls from. The delightful array that unfolded before me is recorded above and below:

Given my livelihood pliancy at the moment, I think what showed up was an excellent mix of energy and indications that all is well.

words to build a life by

What would make you want to get up in the morning and go to work? What would make you want to come home?

     -- Alan Cohen

boy scout

hoops

window

 

yarn super hero

 

On display at Cranbook Art Museum

take a deep breath and bite your tongue

You know those moments when you'd really like to let loose with a zinger, when someone is unloading their frustrations onto you, the new owner, and blame sits conspicuously on top of the pile? When fighting back with accusations and recriminations sounds like a good idea, even for a fleeting second?

And then you take a breath and bite your tongue. Then you feel the wisdom of not contributing to the flow of invective kick in, shoring up the whole blame thing by stepping out of the way Karate-Kid-style, and watching the mass of sludge ease on by, effortlessly. Then amazingly, half an hour later, the whole situation is resolved. And you know that you made that happen, just by throwing the switch so two trains wouldn't collide.

They do not teach this in high school.

Rumi-nating

I watched a sort of documentary-after-the-fact last night about a woman who discovered the poetry of Rumi at a certain juncture of her life and how that awareness preceded some amazing connections with enthusiasts of his work, 700 years after he was alive. Apparently more copies of his texts are sold than Shakespeare's these days in the Western world. Culture-inclusive wisdom through the ages. Gotta live it. One of my favorites:

~*~*~

This we have now
is not imagination.

This is not
grief or joy.

Not a judging state,
or an elation,
or sadness.

Those come and go.
This is the presence that doesn't.

From "Essential Rumi"
by Coleman Barks

 

I heart the internet

Through the magic of cyberspace, I connected with fellow lurkers earlier today in Alberta, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Ohhio, Dubai, Glasgow, Reykjavik, Vancouver, New Jersey, Sydney, Antwerpen, New York, Madrid, India, Britain, Malaysia and the Philippines, all at the same moment because of the opportunity to see what I just posted on my blog via alphainventions. How cool is that?!  It makes me smile to envision a montage video watching all of them being intrigued enough to click on a link from a reader that takes them to this blog, documents the expressions on their faces, pans across the pages they choose to explore more of on my site, what they find that pleases and maybe even inspires them, and then off they go, surfing some more or on to other things in their non-virtual lives. 

I heart the internet.

Listening to longings is a much-needed skill

Our world will become a very different place when we parents have spread the word about staying close and affectionate while our children cry and tantrum about the things they can’t immediately have. Children will have the chance to grow up with permission to unload bad feelings, and then to absorb our deeply satisfying attention. The empty and frightened spots inside them will have a chance to heal. We are citizens of a world full of people whose feelings of desperation need to be heard and healed, while justice is built. Offering love and listening to children while they wait for what they want is an important step in an excellent direction. And, fortunately, children with parents who set reasonable limits and then Staylisten to their feelings grow up to be thoughtful, responsible, and considerate adults.

from "I Want It Now!"--Children's Wants and Needs by Patty Wipfler

~*~*~*~

This reaches a very core part of me while I read this article. Just this one simple response applied all over the world would change how humans exist on the planet, both the new ones coming in and the adults who care for them--two generations rocked at one time. Amazing.

further evidence that the universe is out to help me

One of the nagging worries one deals with as a livelihood pliant soul is what to do about health insurance until the next gig comes along. I had heard that State Farm does that sort of thing, so I checked online for agents near me to see about getting a quote. I chose who to contact by face and energy vibe, and I wasn't disappointed. Steve responded almost immediately to my email query, and we set up an appointment for this morning to take care of paperwork. He was very professional, not pushy at all and took care of my needs quickly and easily. And while we were at it, I got to practice networking and left my card for him to contact a friend who might have some knowledge/contacts/ etc. in the marketing world. Amazing stuff. Now I'm off to write a thank you note and take a nap, so this Edith Ann imitation I've been doing for the last few days will dissipate even more.

I get it now

So that bout of anxiety I subjected myself to last week when I doubted that I would be able to get into the unemployment system, well, that is part of the reason that my butt is getting kicked today. That, and running around and getting sweaty in a laser tag facility, and the crazy temperature extremes outside. So I'm excelling at resting, and downing the liquids, and in a minute I'm going to treat myself to some Abraham dvds an awesome friend let me borrow. Can't think of a better elixir than that.

inside, outside

Met some cool new people tonight who are into Abraham. Hoping to get to know them better and see what kind of fun we get into together.

laser tag--who knew?

I tried playing laser tag last night at a friend's birthday party and had an absolute blast. The party group was pitted against another party group of considerably younger folk, and they were a great bunch to run around with in a dark, labyrinthine, foggy glow-in-the-dark atmosphere for ten minutes or so at a time. I haven't had so much fun getting some great exercise without realizing it! All the accompanying non-stop neural stimulation in the place that is attendant with such establishments didn't seem to bother me as much as it might. Interesting. Happy birthday, T!

what goes around, comes around

Many people are wanting to fan your flames of discomfort, because they believe that "you're either with us or against us; if you don't stand in the same disgust and horror that we are all standing, then you are not with us." It's hard for people to understand that you can not agree with them--and not be against them. That you could be for something without being against something else.

Abraham-Hicks  Orlando, FL - December 15, 2001

~*~*~*~

Seems like warped logic, I know, but it's not. Which fabulously changes everything about the line, "Are you for me, or against me?" Seems like that is from a movie, perhaps about war, but I don't remember and a cursory search on Google brings up nothing of value. Being part of the solution is indeed not being part of the problem, but the real "problem" can get lost in all the angst and outrage. Unplug from that adrenalin juice and look at it from another perspective. Pushing-against only perpetuates more of the same, no matter how noble the cause or vital the effort. 

the women say stop, and the men listen

I listened to John Perkins speak today, and this story he shared about a culture in South America has stuck with me, related in a blog entry by Alice Walker:

"During the pause is the ideal time to listen to stories. But only after you have inhabited Silence for long enough to find it comfortable. Even blissful. There are stories coming to us now from every part of the earth; and they are capable of teaching us things we all used to know. For instance, I listened to a CD called “Shamanic Navigation” by John Perkins. In it he talks about the Swa people of the Amazon. These are indigenous people who’ve lived in the Amazon rain forest for thousands of years. They tell us that in their society men and women are considered equal but very different. Man, they say, has a destructive nature: it is his job therefore to cut down trees when firewood or canoes are needed. His job also to hunt down and kill animals when there is need for more protein. His job to make war, when that becomes a necessity. The woman’s nature is thought to be nurturing and conserving. Therefore her role is to care for the home and garden, the domesticated animals and the children. She inspires the men. But perhaps her most important duty is to tell the men when to stop.

It is the woman who says: Stop. We have enough firewood and canoes, don’t cut down any more trees. Stop. We have enough meat; don’t kill any more animals. Stop. This war is stupid and using up too many of our resources. Stop. Perkins says that when the Swa are brought to this culture they observe that it is almost completely masculine. That the men have cut down so many trees and built so many excessively tall buildings that the forest itself is dying; they have built roads without end and killed animals without number. When, ask the Swa, are the women going to say Stop?

Indeed. When are the women, and the Feminine within women and men, going to say Stop?" 

~*~*~*~

I think we say stop all the time. It's more a matter of, when are we going to listen?

I say let's stop. Let's trust in the power of the stopping, and what's beyond it. Let's stop
abusing ourselves, and let in the Love.

I'm in

After some initial churning and angst, I easily went through the registration process at the unemployment agency this morning. I'm still a tad bewildered at how easily it went, but you know what? Deep down, that's how I thought it would go. I spoke with a woman in a town a few hours away from where I live, and we had a great conversation about thinking positively, and she recommended an article she read in the Sunday NY Times that delineated positive aspects of recessions--definitely going to find that article! Her coworkers tell her she sees the world through rose colored glasses, and I said, well, it looks pretty good from that vantage point, doesn't it? :-)   

And I'm noticing how the anxiety over getting this hurdle out of the way was feeling in my body--not liking that so much. So the next perceived "hurdle" that comes along, and I know there will be many in this livelihood pliant process, I'm instantly retrieving this memory and applying it liberally to my psyche. This speaks volumes to the focus I have applied over the past few years in the upper registers of the emotional scale--and it feels awesome.

Thank you to everyone who is helping me with resume tweaking, network expanding, job posting direction and overall morale-boosting. It all is a kaleidoscope of fun and paving the way to whatever fabulous opportunity is out there for me. And all of us. We rock!

candid camera

Little Man and I on candid camera at the drug store pharmacy counter.

do I exist?

My first attempt to interact with my state's unemployment claim system left a little to be desired. According to it, my social security number does not exist. Hmmmm. Do I exist? I think so. Last time I checked. Where would I go to make sure?

um, what day is it?

Whew. Having to sit and concentrate on something that isn't a flow subject again is, um, exhausting.

But hey. How cool is it that:

*I got to sit around a table of former coworkers, exchange job-hunting info and gab about our being former employees. I didn't participate very enthusiastically in the bashing section though;

*I have a draft of a resume that I think I will actually resonate with and jazzes me about sending it out to the various corners of the universe to enlist the perfect employer who needs the perfect employee;

*I go to have lunch with a friend who listened to me talk about my travails with M and then we talked about Etsy and stuff;

*I might get to stay home with Little Man on Wednesday if need be cuz he has a stomach virus or something;

*I get to refocus my thoughts to what I want and unfocus my thoughts about what anybody else is doing, ALL DAY LONG!

*I sent an email to a former lover with whom I never did get any closure. I've been enjoying the reconnection process in Facebook so much lately that I decided I would send him a short note saying that I hoped his life turned out the way he wanted it to. I haven't checked that email inbox yet :-)

*I spent an entire eight hours not on the internet?!

*I dreamed last night about being outside and watching three different airplanes crash near me. It didn't feel like a disaster focus, it felt more like an I-got-out-of-the-way-of-something focus. I wish I could remember more about it, but I don't.

*Maybe I could focus my Abraham ebook material around my job search event, and tailor it to that common experience. Hmmmmm.......

outplacement therapy

A friend of mine might be meeting the person who's question inspired the faith for skeptics treatise I transcribed a few posts ago. How cool is that?! This person has come such a long way in terms of where his vibe is at most of the time and what possibilities he's willing to entertain. Oh, I crave that sort of meeting of the minds myself.

I finally tried hooking up my external monitor to my netbook, and the drama that unfolded when I first did the same thing with my laptop was entirely absent. No special driver needed, just plug and play. My neck and shoulders and back appreciate it immensely.

Tomorrow I go back into the workaday world for a does of outplacement therapy. I expect to see some familiar faces, and to learn something new about the art of resume writing. At least I hope some things have changed since the last time I needed one. And then lunch with some friends who work nearby. I am showing up with this attitude in mind:

~*~*~*~

There are those that say, if you do the uncomfortable thing long enough, it will become comfortable. But we are really not encouragers of that. We are encouragers of coming into alignment, and then taking the action. We are encouragers always of getting rid of the fear; we would never want you to keep doing things that you feel fearful about. And maybe the path of least resistance is just not get on the horse. Maybe the path of least resistance is to get on a different horse—but we would never move forward in fear.

Abraham-Hicks--Billings, MT June 2003

doors in the wall

That humanity will never be able to dispense with Artificial Paradises seems very unlikely. Most men and women lead lives at the worst so painful, at the best so monotonous, poor and limited that the urge to escape, the longing to transcend themselves if only for a few moments, is and has always been one of the principal appetites of the soul. Art and religion, carnivals and saturnalia, dancing and listening to oratory—all these have served, in H. G. Wells's phrase, as Doors in the Wall.

The universal and ever-present urge to self-transcendence is not to be abolished by slamming the currently popular Doors in the Wall. The only reasonable policy is to open other, better doors in hope of the inducing men and women to exchange their old bad habits for new and less harmful ones.

--Aldous Huxley

the puppy bowl

If I watch anything on television today it will be the puppy bowl on Animal Planet.

Loved Seth Godin's blog post this morning about permission email campaigns and interruption campaigns:

"A spam campaign feels like a smart idea, but over time, the more you use it, the less your brand is worth. A permission campaign, on the other hand, only grows in value, until it gets big enough that you can build an entire business around it.

Earning permission is a long-term, profitable, scalable strategy that pays for itself. Think about how much better off a brand would be if it took the time to make promises, keep them and be transparent about its communications."

I so drink that koolaid. Transparent, authentic, engaging. Nothing else works, man.