Friday, March 05, 2010

egregious error I recently had the great fortune to be the recipient of not one, but two, arrangements of flowers, within 12 hours of each other. Let me explain. The first was ordered via one of those online conglomerate outfits that appear to have great deals. The delivery didn't happen the day it was supposed to. Nor the second day. When contacted about this egregious error, the company couldn't say for sure what had happened, other than that the arrangement was in the truck. So not a good experience. Relationship damaged. No attempt to repair. Order canceled. Business taken elsewhere, permanently. Word-of-mouth currency as negative as it could be. Enter second vendor, a local concern who, from the moment the conversation began, was 1000% more helpful, dedicated and able to create a magical experience for the person ordering and the person receiving. First vendor delivery materializes anyway, in spite of previous inability to make it happen and the order being canceled. Set side by side, the contrast between the two arrangements is stark. The first had tacky plastic tubing on the flower stems to keep them upright, too much foliage that detracted from the flowers, the water was stale from sitting in the truck for two days, in one of those standard, nondescript curved vases. The second had inobtrusive florist wire implemented to keep the flowers upright, just enough foliage to augment the beauty of the flowers, an elegantly simple cylindrical vase, and it arrived exactly on time, when they said they would. Now, of course, I will sing their praises and recommend them to everyone who asks. Since we're dealing with humans here, experiences like these will continue to happen on the planet, just as they have for thousands of years. A timeless story of business, services, follow-through, personal investment in...
Our job is to keep looking for the work that transforms us I finished reading Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. It took me forever to read Eat, Pray, Love, and when I did, it was, of course, amazing. I'd heard that some of her readers were disappointed in Committed, because it didn't transform them like her other book did. Not Elizbeth's job. Her job is to write the books she's meant to write. Our job is to keep looking for the work that transforms us. SPOILER ALERT--if you plan to read the book yourself, avert your eyes: "Even the Stasi of communist East Germany--the most effective totalitarian police force the world has ever known--could not listen in on every single private conversation in every single private household at three o'clock in the morning. Nobody has ever been able to do this. No matter how modest or trivial or serious the pillow talk, such hushed hours belong exclusively to the two people who are sharing them with each other. What passes between a couple alone in the dark is the very definition of the work "privacy." And I'm not just talking about sex here but about its far more subversive aspect: intimacy. Every couple in the world has the potential over time to become a small and isolated nation of two--creating their own culture, their own language, and their own moral code, to which nobody else be can privy... "We were shaping our lives in that particular form of partnership because we yearned for something. As so many of us do. We yearn for private intimacy even though it's emotionally risky. We yearn for private intimacy even when we suck at it. We yearn for private intimacy even when it's illegal for us to love the person we love. We yearn for private intimacy even when we are told that we should yearn for...

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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