Friday, July 23, 2010

I know who to be about it

IMG_7788

That's me, alright.

A little blurry, cuz things are moving so fast.

But in a good way.

Looking straight ahead.

Observing, scanning, inhaling, devouring, absorbing, savoring, reveling in.

Appreciating the contrast, that produces a desire, that launches preferences to my cosmic casting director, who stands with his clipboard of people, circumstances and events in the wings, choreographing them all on the stage of my life according to how I choose to feel in any moment.

He's a busy guy these days.

When I remember to work my joy pullers and my resistance toys, I get to new places of "getting it".

When I don't, I feel like crap.

Until I remember again.

So what If things suck for a minute, or a hundred?

I know what to do about it.

Who to be about it.

And that has tons more legs than staying stuck in resentment.

I've noticed.

Jul 23, 2010 10:20:52 AM | emotional scale, photo, self portrait, Thought Chaperone

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some days belong to the crisis psycho pirate I'm not sure what this plant is called, or what that amazing blossom-to-be will eventually be. Those curvy almost tentacle-like tendrils possess shades of the wild thang that eats people in Little Shop of Horrors, but they are quite beautiful at the same time. We all have that dual personality disorder goin' on in every moment. Just depends which one we choose to activate; consciously or knee-jerk, they show up either way. Some days the dolphin side takes over, the part of us that remembers that life is supposed to be fun and that play will net us more of what we want than any amount of manipulation or self-denigration will ever produce. Those graceful, gentle creatures handle moving back and forth between two realities with ease and skill. Breathing air has its cool aspects, and breathing water is home. Both work, and options are good. And some days require allowing the crisis psycho pirate a few drama-filled scenarios to get the pull of resentment and fear out of our systems. Cooler heads may prevail, but a heart that needs to express some rage and frustration will have its day; planning for it saves so much wear and tear on the body/mind. Ceramic dishes sent spinning into concrete works just fine, as well as screaming inside your car at the top of your lungs, wailing on a pillow or a mattress with a wiffleball bat, or plugging into the music that never fails to pull you into a new head space. Whatever it takes, you know? And if you're anything like me, giving in to the pirate takes some doing. Aren't I supposed to be all serene and shit? I'm a thought chaperone. I don't do that drama thing anymore. Well, guess what. We're humans still walking on the planet....
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like that http://ow.ly/2hvkP I look around and take stock of where I'm not. Hello. When I do that, I miss the opportunity to enjoy what's going on in front of me. Like the kid who was amazed I knew his name and wasn't too thrilled about it. A few days later, he came back into my classroom to just stand around and hang during passing time until the bell rang. Like the meltdown I talked my son through stepping away from the edge of ever so deftly. Like the enraptured joy on the face of a one-year-old's savoring of pretty shiny things on another woman's fingers. Like the shift in my solar plexus I can feel when I manage a baby step in the direction I want to go from frustration to mere pessimism, causing my casting director to shift everything that's waiting in the wings offstage for me in that direction too. Like putting together some lime green and fuchsia bracelets that make my tan pop and my inner design goddess happy. Like dropping yet another load of things that could be better used by others at the Salvation Army. Like knowing things are going to be amazingly crazy busy and good in a few months and I will look back on this "fallow" time with some wistfulness. Like that.

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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