Tuesday, February 08, 2011

JOT Day 49 - Time suck ephemora

We all know participating in social media can be a time suck.

Surfing online articles is another.

It's so perfectly and eloquently justified, but it's a time suck.

None of us needs another article to validate what we're doing.

We only need our own permission for that.

It can't come from someone outside of ourselves because permission never stands still outside of ourselves.

It's always changing, depending on someone else's whim.

The permission we give ourselves is what counts, because deep down we know what we want to do and how to do it.

We're just waiting for permission.

Go ahead and give it to yourself.

Save yourself weeks, months, years of delay in doing what would make you feel (and possibly earn) a million bucks.

Today I consciously chose not to pick up another text of any kind until I'm finished with what I've already decided is on my path.

No distractions, not now.

There will be times when I need a break and a distraction will be welcome and useful.

Just not now.

 

Feb 8, 2011 5:25:22 PM | JOT

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JOT Day 47, 48 - Climbing back up the emotional scale Every once in awhile, I plunge back down for a reorientation with the depths of the emotional scale, down in the bowels of negative emotions that I know do not serve me or anyone else, but in the heat of the moment, they just are. The thing is, once you've stabilized your spot in the upper registers, this reorientation thing doesn't take much to feel like the world as you know it has collapsed--even just a little bit of contrast in an arena that you aren't used to anymore does that. So I vented and fumed for awhile, reached out and spoke to someone who talked me down from the dizzying heights of irrationality, and eventually I felt much better. Even that small amount of time and energy spent in that space was exhausting though. And counterproductive. I know better. But the experience was great for shoring up boundaries and resolve in many areas, so for that I can appreciate what happened. Today I am checking out another spot for my Meetup group to meet in, and I took the first step in making an appointment as a new patient with a new health care provider. The Right-Brained Biz Plan book arrived in the mail and I've started reading the exercises that will start using the clippings I've got from magazines. Feeling like I'm on track and moving in the right direction.
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JOT Day 50 - In the clenches Every once in awhile on this ride of personal growth, something happens. You wake up and realize that the clenching of whatever it is that's on your mind, keeping you up at night--it's not there anymore. And it stays away for half an hour, the rest of the day, possibly even the rest of the week, before old thinking takes over again and the clench comes back. (Cuz the clench does come back, eventually, but the intensity has changed.) That lack of clench is the stuff of dreams. But it's real. It's like the pull of golf, connecting with the sweet spot on the club during a swing. It's an addiction of the highest order, and eliminates any angst about sticking with the game that might have been there right up until that swing. This lack of clench euphoria is stone. real. relief. And the depth of the relief gets deeper, stronger, more pervasive and lasts longer each time it occurs, to the point of it taking awhile to notice that it's dissipated when it finally has. But even then, you're on a new plateau from which to be/do/have, so the playing field has permantently changed anyway. Once you start thinking and acting from a new place, you have access to thoughts and actions that are even more along the lines of what you were looking for, that wasn't available to you in the clenches. Today was one of those unclench days for me. And it's interesting that it came on the heels of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day quite recently. The degree to which the contrast of these two experiences forms their dichotomy is astounding. But because my focus here with the JOT process is doggedly onward with daily small steps toward what I say and...

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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