Monday, March 21, 2011

JOt Day 87, 88, 89, 90 - Why Was That Such a Big Deal Well, because it was. And now it's not. What once seemed so looming, so daunting, so impossible, so overwhelming--is now just an integrated part of you. Remember junior high? Or middle shcool, or whatever it was called where you were when puberty and the cult of peer pressure kicked in? Talking to a member of another gender seemed an especially ridiculously difficult task, mostly because we made it out to be so in our heads. And bought into what the culture tells us about relationships and dating and making sure that we put across an "image" of someone, not necessarily ourselves. Because we've been practicing not to be who we really are for about a decade by then. We're told, "Just be yourself," and that's about the last thing we ever do, any day of the week. Sigh. So this week I got to experience the shift from daunting to very, very doable--I knew that it would be, but I had other human components to factor in, which means the outcome isn't under my control--with a particular event, and it feels pretty darn good, to more than one of the components involved. Just another cha-ching in the physics of emotion department. I practiced ever increasingly better feeling thoughts around the subject, and the outcome was fabulous. I didn't try to fix something in the usually left-brained, human hunt-it-down-and-kill-it fashion. I let my emotions show me the way. Cuz they are calling the shots anyway. I just learned how to work with them, not brace myself against their onslaught. They really are user friendly. Really.

Deb Schanilec

Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.

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