Connected and Committed

I died this week

I died this week.

Well, part of me did.

And because part of me died to my old self, part of my new self had room to show up and get acquainted.

That new self is the one we put into existence by sending out requests to the universe for something different than what has our attention at the moment.

Lots of attention.

Negative attention.

The kind that we are trained to think will somehow result in a solution, but never does.

We vividly imagine the horrific more than we do the pleasant.

We ardently focus on what we don't want simply from decades of habit.

We sincerely believe in our limitations.

And we enthusiastically argue for them any chance we get.

Until we don't.

I started out this week arguing (half-heartedly--I already knew the jig was up) for mine.

And it felt like crap.

And hanging on to the limitations I was arguing for felt like crap.

I was stuck in the "Uncomfortable is the new comfortable" stage of enlightenment.

The one where a new level of understanding is about to slide into place.

And we go kicking and screaming every step of the way (or not).

Fear, doubt, anxiety--all of them bubbled to the surface.

And then yowzah showed up.

What was on the other side of all that angst was amazingness.

Of course.

I knew that, on some level.

But it had been awhile since I'd dived that deep into completely new, core-bound territory.

I had to drop stories about myself I'd been telling for decades.

Damn it!

But now, I have this entirely new playground available to me.

New ideas, new people, new circumstances, new fun.

I highly recommend taking the plunge.

If you need help, let me know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't practice believing; practice knowing

I love it when a message comes to me through an unexpected source. Practicing some new thoughts around business was on my mind, and I picked up this book and turned to this passage:

 

"The first thing you must tell yourself is that you can already do the technique," he continued. "Once you do that, you will be two giant steps ahead even before you start. The final step will be convincing you hands that they also know what to do."

..."What is coordination but a form of convincing?" he asked, spreading his hands and hunching his shoulders.

"What?"

"Is coordination anything more than a form of convincing?" he asked again.

"What do you mean?"

"Through practice and repetition, could it be that you are just convincing your muscles and you mind that they already know what to do? Maybe that's the primary function of practicing."

"Uh, maybe so, I replied, trying to keep up.

He pointed his long index finger at me and continued. "Now, what do you think would happen if you could convince yourself first, at the beginning of your quest? In other words, before you start practicing anything, convince yourself you can already do it. What would happen then? I'll tell you. Depending on how well you do at the convincing part, you will cut your practice time in half. use the full potential of your mind, and practice will become a thing of the past. How do you think I can play any instrument I choose? Do you think I've practiced them all? Can you imagine a master like the Buddha having to practice before he could play the bass?"

..."Stop it!" I responded in my own familiar way. "Just tell ne the truth."

"Truth? What is truth? Truth is up to you. You make your truth; no one else does. Tell yourself that it takes a long time to learn something, and it probably will. Convincingly put yourself at the end of the path and you will find yourself looking back at the beginning. It is all up to you."

He seemed convinced. I wasn't. He pointed his finger at me and continued speaking.

"But know this: you cannot fool yourself. You cannot half-heartedly tell yourself that you can do something and then expect to be abel to do it. You must be honest. From all levels of your being, you must know what you are talking about. If you want to practice anything, practice knowing that you can do whatever you set you complete mind to. Don't practice believing; practice knowing!"

..."Whether we are talking about Music of Life, good technique is important. Understand that just learning techniques is not enough. You must make a choice. a conscious choice to take one road or another. Good or bad, each is narrow, making it difficult for U-turns.

"Know that the mind is a powerful tool, and that its power can respond to you both positively or negatively. Learning to use it completely should not be taken lightly. This is where technique as well as intention and attention come into play. May people have gotten sucked into the black hole of the mind, never to return again."

~from The Music lesson: A Spiritual Search for Growth Through Music by Victor L. Wooten

 

Thank you, universe, for being so consistent, so I may practice with enthusiasm in the direction of my intention.

Now on to practice knowing.

 

100% humidity

The local weather channel says that there is 100% humidity in the air today.

Usually my system doesn't handle that kind of thing very well.

I feel like jumping out of my skin, it's that uncomfortable.

But today, I feel fine.

Better than fine.

I feel fabulous.

What's the difference?

Some other variable is skewing the results.

I've been taking a look out the window on this train ride of a journey I'm on for awhile now, and I really like what I see.

It took some time, a few decades, to even be aware there was a window.

I thought I was just sitting in my assigned seat, images whizzing by at speeds I couldn't possibly catch up with.

Not so any more.

They've slowed down. Or maybe I've finally matched their trajectory, I'm not sure.

Either way, the quality of the ride has changed significantly.

I'd highly recommend buying a ticket on this train.

You'll know which one it is when you see me standing on the platform, waving you on.

Let's go.