Connected and Committed

JOT 2,3 - The Follow Through

Let's see--I think I'll first list what it was that I did, and then any processing or insights that come along. Yeah, that sounds good.

Yesterday was day 2 of this adventure, and I had the opportunity to research on the computer for several hours on what it takes to register a small biz in the state I find myself in these days.

And I signed up for access to some video and content that will jumpstart by small biz in sales, building lists and creating content that sells.

At first I was going to name this thing I'm doing Twenty Minutes a Day, but the time thing wasn't in the spirit of how I am approaching this, so hitching my enthusiasm to just one thing, a babystep that I could complete on its own or continue with a long as it felt good, felt like the way to go.

Today, day 3, I'm going to read a bit more in the public speaking books I've gotten so much great energy from.

The holidays present even more of a challenge in terms of making the time to do what it is you've said you want to do for yourself. Family and friends clamor for your presence, and it's easy to just give up on doing something in the direction of where you are going.

So I'm going to hold the space for effortless slots of time showing up for me to be able to do just one thing over the next week when my family will be around 24/7, and report on how that went. It will require some discipline and resolve and some unaccustomed "selfishness", which has an entirely different connotation to it in Abraham vernacular. Unless we decide to do what is important to us, we learn to undervalue what it is we want, which makes us less present for those around us when we are with them, since we're nursing resentment and would really rather be somewhere else doing that thing.

Here's to the new selfishness.

 

plant yourself by the hydrant

 

 

 

 

 

This tree has its leaves still, while others around it are bare.

You'll notice that it's very near the fire hydrant across the way.

It's positioned itself quite nicely in proximity of what it needs.

If you haven't done that for yourself lately, here is your reminder.

Do one of those things that you have identified in the past, or perhaps added into your repertoire lately, as something that makes your heart sing.

Those things that help you move up the emotional scale because they assist in shifting your beliefs about what's true, what's possible, what's real.

Better feeling thoughts become available to you when you do this.

Remember?

I knew you would.

 

the enmeshed lineup of the nomadic jeans

 

It's a process.

Take, for instance, the pair of jeans I put on a few night's ago that I hadn't worn since last spring.

I loved those jeans. They were my constant companion while the temperatures were below 60 degrees. Even though I'd never been a jeans kinda gal, for some reason I started wearing these and wondered what the heck I'd been thinking all those decades.

But when I put them on after a few seasons of disuse, they felt funny because, see, I'd gotten another pair a few months ago that had taken over the number one spot without me really realizing what was going on.

The new ones felt so good and fit so well that I just kept reaching for them in my closet, ignoring the older pair.

So when I finally consciously chose the old reliables again, the difference in how they made me feel was a bit of a shock.

I really wore these, all the time?

Really?

They just didn't fit me anymore, if they ever did. They must have at one time, but not now.

I remember feeling good about them, having fun in them, thinking that I would wear them until they were threadbare.

Kinda like the thoughts we entertain, swirling around in our heads.

Many of them have choreographed the essence of your days for years, showing up by seniority and not necessarily merit.

Thoughts about the products you buy, the television shows you watch, the people you do or don't like, the belief system you hold near and dear to your heart (or not), The Thing That Happened yesterday or years ago.

You might be surprised at how tenaciously you hold on to any one or all of those thoughts, having bought into the assumption that they are true and time-tested and perennially accurate.

Unfortunately, we don't usually get the opportunity of a natural hiatus from those thoughts that would allow us to re-examine them from time to time for worn spots and facets in need of replacement or repair.

Mostly it's circumstances and events that feel like they are from out of the blue, like a punishment from god, like a cross to bear, that contain the grain of sand that irritates the oyster of your heart that produces the pearl that entirely turns your life around in a way you could never orchestrate yourself.

No way.

Go, try on your jeans and see if they still fit you the way you think they do.

 

 

shake that snowglobe

I'm recuperating from my high school reunion.

Lots of fun and a very late flight back home made for a very dull girl the last few days.

Small price to pay for bliss, however.

And I'm out of hiding now.

Today I handed in my resignation letter, so I can speak freely about moving to Minneapolis next month, the start of a new adventure.

I haven't been this excited since I left The States for a job in Italy way back in another lifetime.

When I compare the two situations, there are many similarities, and some differences.

Both situations came about because of a dream I tenaciously would not let go of. It played in the background of every moment of contrast that reinforced the awareness of what I didn't want, and only became more and more entrenched with every rocket of desire I set off while thinking about the having of it.

There was much moving around in the upper registers of the emotional scale both times that assisted in entrenching the good vibes and pulling the experiences to me sooner rather than later.

And of course, in each circumstance the universe knocked itself out with details and wonderful sernedipity while fulfilling my order. There is no way I could have conjured on my own with my puny imagination what transpired to get me where I went or where I'm going.

I hear my money will be accepted at most retail establishments in the Twin Cities.

My passport won't need a visa that requires sitting in an office every year to get a special stamp for me to live and work there.

And I won't be wondering “Is that all there is?” this time around. At 24 I seriously wondered if life had any more dazzle, any more surprises, and more inspiration left for me once I had attained what I said I had dreamed of for years.

At 50, the prognosis for the future is stellar.

I know there's enough, and there's always more.

Here's to new adventures.

How is yours coming along?

resistance is futile. and not very smart.

 

I'm finding that my body wants me to slow down.

It has some integrating to do.

Major life changes require a different pace, a softening of the demand we put on ourselves.

More naps, a lessening of activities that require attention so our minds can wander and process their end of the deal.

So I sit and meander and process and stare out into space with a mandate to do so.

Like this little guy on the plane in the seat in front of me.

It was probably past his bedtime when he got to his seat, but he made do with what he had.

We played dueling headphone jacks, and lots of peek-a-boo.

He had fun, and so did I.

Resistance is futile. And not very smart.

So let in the allowing. Let in the slow. Let in the fallow for a time.

Soon enough all kinds of new things will be creating themselves and inviting you up for the show. All those desires you've had over the years, they'll be manifesting in ways that your puny human imagination could never dream up on its own.

Thank goodness the how isn't our job. Handle the what, and the universe takes care of the details when we get out of the way.

I'm off to eat some fabulous zucchini chocolate cake.

Resistance is futile.

some days belong to the crisis psycho pirate

I'm not sure what this plant is called, or what that amazing blossom-to-be will eventually be. Those curvy almost tentacle-like tendrils possess shades of the wild thang that eats people in Little Shop of Horrors, but they are quite beautiful at the same time.

We all have that dual personality disorder goin' on in every moment. Just depends which one we choose to activate; consciously or knee-jerk, they show up either way.

Some days the dolphin side takes over, the part of us that remembers that life is supposed to be fun and that play will net us more of what we want than any amount of manipulation or self-denigration will ever produce. Those graceful, gentle creatures handle moving back and forth between two realities with ease and skill. Breathing air has its cool aspects, and breathing water is home. Both work, and options are good.

And some days require allowing the crisis psycho pirate a few drama-filled scenarios to get the pull of resentment and fear out of our systems. Cooler heads may prevail, but a heart that needs to express some rage and frustration will have its day; planning for it saves so much wear and tear on the body/mind.

Ceramic dishes sent spinning into concrete works just fine, as well as screaming inside your car at the top of your lungs, wailing on a pillow or a mattress with a wiffleball bat, or plugging into the music that never fails to pull you into a new head space.

Whatever it takes, you know? 

And if you're anything like me, giving in to the pirate takes some doing.

Aren't I supposed to be all serene and shit?

I'm a thought chaperone.

I don't do that drama thing anymore.

Well, guess what. We're humans still walking on the planet. We need to acknowledge that we experience the gamut of feelings that are in the dictionary, and then let them go. Pretending that they aren't there is so old paradigm, and so doesn't serve anyone in the process.

Perfectionism breathes life into the pirate.

circuitry of happiness

I never thought I'd say this, but....

With the power of my retrained brain, the one whose routing I've been chaperoning for a few years now, I entertained a new thought today.

And the conjuring of it went further along on its neuropathway than it ever has before.

I sent out a message in a bottle that the thought should think about what it would be like to be totally in the moment. Unguarded. Certain of a smooth, flowing, ease-full existence.

And it did.

It went beyond mere suggestion and imagery.

It actually embraced the circuitry of happiness.

Even living as a blissmonger such as I do, I've not been there before. Not like this.

Not able to soar up the emotional scale so high that the glass ceiling I'd built above it melted such that I didn't notice.

As with any shift in perspective, this will take some integrating, some getting used to, some pondering.

For a few days.

And then the newness will wear off, the novelty will fade, and the state will just be normal.

This I can handle.

Inspiration, satisfaction and communication spiraling out of control

 

Franken-bike

It's a vicious circle.

First this horrible thing happens, which leads to this wretched person having this negative reaction, which makes it impossible for that thing to happen, which dominoes into another diabolical level of calamity, which makes the original horrible thing more entrenched, which...

Stop.

Take a deep breath or two.

Yes, vicious circles can have a resigned air about them of the expected, the relentless and, perhaps, even the deserved.

Which is exactly what makes them keep showing up.

Inspiration, satisfaction and communication spiraling out of control--why don't circles like that get initiated more often?

Why do their more brutal brethren seem to target us with such regularity and with such skill?

Delicious circles don't grace our psyches simply because we've been trained to forget what brings them about.

We learn how to accept, value and trust other's preferences before our own.

During our formative years, this inexorable familial, scholastic and religious erasure process is so pervasive and so ubiquitous, we lose sight of the fact that we even have preferences, lest we be judged as “selfish”.

Which is quite fascinating, given the act of our capitulation serves someone else's selfish agenda.

Delicious circles are what start to show up when we relearn to honor our preferences, make decisions based on them, and trust ourselves again because we consistently deliver on our promises, to ourselves and to other people.

None of this need be deportment that provokes civil unrest and general mayhem, contrary to the argument the powers-that-be like to advance in such discussions.

Controlling others from a place of fear of what will happen otherwise doesn't seem to be producing the intended results. In fact, just the opposite occurs. Have you noticed?

Interestingly enough, this practice of being caught up in delicious circles requires the same vigilance, fortitude and effort that maintaining the vicious variety does, only the payoff sustains and enhances the world, rather than diminishes and detracts from it.

May the circle be unbroken.

you gotta wanna

"This mental attitude is our personality and is composed of the thoughts which we have been creating in our own mind; therefore, if we wish a change in conditions all that is necessary is to change our thought; this will in turn change our mental attitude, which will in turn change our personality, which will in turn change the persons, things and conditions, or the experiences with which we meet in life.

It is however no easy matter to change the mental attitude, but by persistent effort may it be accomplished; the mental attitude is patterned after the mental pictures which have been photographed on the brain; if you do not like the pictures, destroy the negatives and create new pictures; this is the art of visualization." ~ Charles Haanel, The Master Key

"Sweeping, definite, gentle, persistent." ~ John Randolph Price

~*~*~

It is no easy matter to change our mental attitude.

Charles knew it way back in 1912.

John knew it in the 80s.

You know it, right this minute.

This minute that likely has some vague, or perhaps very distinct, nagging thought rolling around in the bowling alley of your mind, this thought that keeps showing up and that you keep giving credence to.

You think this thought, even though you might have done some other thinking that arrived at the conclusion that it really didn't serve you to think that thought any more.

You get what your contribution is, on some level, to the undesirable relationships and circumstances in your life, and you genuinely want to do something about that.

You wish that nagging thought would just go away, and it doesn't just go away.

Well, it can't, because you've thought about it and activated it enough that it's going to be around for awhile, just like the cigarette smoke on your clothes and in your hair after you leave the bowling alley.

That's where John's advice comes in.

"Sweeping, definite, gentle, persistent."

That other thinking, the one where you realize that the first thought doesn't serve you and that you want it to leave--it's got to be sweeping, definite, gentle and persistent.

That other thinking has to be of similar weight and proportion and size to what you are training it to take the place of.

Ponder for a moment how many times you have thought the nagging thought.

Given that we think upwards of 60,000 thoughts a day, the actual number of times could be quite staggering.

That's the precedence you're working with here.

You gotta wanna enjoy the freedom from that nagging thought so much that you are willing to put at least as much effort into that other thinking as you have the nagging thought.

It's only fair.

Sweeping, definite, gentle, persistent.

Of course that nagging thought didn't start out to be the gargantuan bugger it is today.

It started out small, very small, and accumulated power a little bit every day.

It relied on the measly influence of negativity to make its way to the top, too.

And you've got a much more effective tool this time around, if you choose to use it.

Positive thought.

Choosing to go this route will give you palpable, tangible evidence that you are making headway, every time you feel the relief that will come when you make the effort.

Relief equals power. Moving up the emotional scale one rung at a time gives you your power back.

And the amount of time necessary to reroute your thinking won't take as long as you've been mired in that nagging thought.

Could be decades we're dealing with there, right?

It will take as long as you decide it will take.

You just have to listen to that small voice in your head that constantly reminds you that there's supposed to be more to life than THIS.

You've just gotta wanna destroy those negatives, rearrange those pixels, regrind the holes in the bowling ball.

You gotta wanna feel the relief, feel good more of the time, feel in charge of your life.

You gotta wanna.

large, dark, slowly lumbering bovine

Whilst driving back to the city last weekend, on a stretch of still-mostly-rural road, we happened upon a meandering group of cattle dangerously near the highway who had discovered that the gate that usually enclosed them was now, well, miraculously not.

A very large, dark, slowly lumbering bovine was well within ten feet of passing automobiles, several of her compatriots close behind her at the moment we crossed paths, animal and human.

Looking through the rear window as long as I could, I envisioned how not pretty that scene could become, and quite soon.

Not unlike the havoc our thoughts can wreak, once the gates of our conscious focus have been compromised.

Thoughts are tricky like that.

We think them, and they seem to take on a life of their own, as if they were the ones running the show.

The locus of control does remain with us however.

It's our choice to allow them to run rampant, willy-nilly, hither and yon, bounding along the downtrodden trail they've enjoyed unbridled access to for decades.

We are equally capable of reigning them in, closing the gate, and requiring some obedience training skills be exercised.

It just seems impossible for us to envision thinking any other way about that thing, or that person, or that situation.

Or nearly so.

Some of us do still have a shred of hope left even after decades of implanting not so good results into our psyches, which makes nearly-impossible much more manageable than strictly-impossible.

When my nearly-impossible cows get loose in the world here in this little slice of heaven I'm simmering in lately, I pull out my thought chaperone tools and apply them liberally to myself until I slide ever so delightfully into, "Oh, it is so done," mode.

I'm beginning to enjoy the palpable sensation of relief so much that I almost look forward to enduring the contrast that brings it about.

Or nearly so.

There is of course the strategy of hanging out in the pasture rather than mulling over whether the gate is going to open or not.

Skip the middle man.

contamination of the belief supply

Our disrespected environment, our edumacation lockstep delivery system, our political stagnation process, our empty religious practices, our fake food product industry, our lack-focused marketing mindset--all of the worst of these aspects of our culture stay in place because of a contamination of the belief supply. We stay asleep collectively under the silent agreements we make when we continue to buy into the power these mirages of civilization have over us.

It's not true.

Start telling a different story that begins gathering new textures of thoughts to you that eventually shift your beliefs over time about what is possible.

That's how it's done.

bliss and a ton of crap

This personal transformation business is fascinating stuff.

Popular culture tends to characterize the process with images of sublime serenity and blissful contemplation.

Anyone who actually engages the process however knows that before, during and after that blissful state arrives, there is a ton of crap to continuously dismantle and unlearn.

Some of that skewed perspective we attribute to ourselves initially came from others, and then we constructed more elaborate endless-loop thinking on top of that fine start.

Reorienting to what is actually true about who we are is much like the painstaking scraping layers of paint from the side of a building or the surface of a piece of furniture.

It's hard work, to the extent to which we buy into it needing to be that way, but makes for a much more hospitable foundation on which to apply the new colors and textures we consciously want.

It means learning new behavior and taking responsibility for it, which humans tend not to do gracefully or willingly, generally putting it off until circumstances are such that we see we have no other choice.

It means no longer being able to stop the blame buck anywhere else but right here for what is showing up in our lives over and over again.

It means sitting with really uncomfortable stuff and realizing that we aren't going to die because of it.

This personal transformation business is fascinating stuff.

Vibrational marketing

Vibrational marketing ala Abraham.