Revolutionary Road.
What an amazing journey through film.
I instantly identified with April's character, having tried the
stay-at-home mom thing and almost lost my mind. And I can also
identified with Frank's finding himself becoming the man he never
wanted to be, showing up every day to a job that provides for his
family that at the same time makes him want to scream.
Entertaining the idea of seizing an opportunity to live their lives
the way they want to enlivens them both and offers a glimmer of hope
for a time to an existence that is defined by hopeless emptiness. As
one of the characters so brilliantly says, "Plenty of people are onto
the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness."
This might have been the 50s and the stultifying societal
expectations that went with them, but I don't think things have changed
all that much. The chasm between happy and empty seems to be that much
wider now because of the intense pressure that marketing puts on us to
buy in to its clever distraction. The layers are deeper, more
insidious, and more devastating given the extremes to which humanity
goes to numb itself out, and with which the culture happily complies on
many levels to supply us with.
We don't know and aren't told that there are other ways of living,
because the perception is that money can't be made from uncontrollable,
happy people. I disagree, and hold the space for the powers that be to
catch on.
I had a great discussion
with a friend after wards about how crucial communication is in any relationship, and
I was able to articulate ideas I've had about how important it is to me
that, if I should find myself in one again, to remain vigilant about
living the way that makes sense for both parties, and not to so easily
fall into gender roles or comfort roles or accommodating roles or any
kind of role just because it's been beaten into our psyches from the
culture.
Discussing how we want our lives to be together as first
interactions happen, and not letting resentment get a foothold, is
absolutely essential. That takes enormous dedication and persistence
and awareness, but the investment holds such an incredible payoff, I
don't see any viable alternative.
My casting director has the esteemed assignment of lining someone up
for me who wants to walk that walk as well. With this bit of evidence
showing up in the form of a film, I so appreciate it. It has given me
grist for real-life application, I'm curious to see what shows up next.
*I appreciate being able to recognize when thoughts that don't serve
me show up and that I have counter measures to diffuse them and not
allow them to ruin my day. And when they work, I demonstrate to myself
that I can trust myself, again and again. Important stuff.
*I appreciate the machinations that I put into effect with my
casting director when that happens, shifting my thoughts and therefore
shifting who and what comes to me. I love thinking about my casting
director standing offstage with all kinds of things queued up beside
him, and him sitting at a huge console, and every moment I do or think
or say something, it alters what he sends across the stage, depending
on any shift I might make in the trajectory of my thoughts, up or down
the emotional scale. I love thinking about that.
*I love remembering what it was like going to high school dances.
The anticipation during the week building up because I knew how great
it would feel to be in the gym and hearing the music, doing its thing
to my nervous system and pumping tons of energy through me--never
failed. I could count on losing a pound or two in those three hours.
One particularly satisfying night, a group of four of us were standing
up near the band and we started dancing together in a four cornered box
that rotated and criss-crossed and twirled in on itself. We held that
magic together for what seems like half an hour or so, two guys and two
girls just blissing out to the music and the fun. Priceless.
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