Zura at Creative Clown has tagged me with the Seven Oddball Things meme. So I’m supposed to write seven weird things about myself. Oh, where to begin :-)
1. Instead of buying a high school class ring that I knew I wouldn't wear past September following graduation, I bought filigree gold band that I knew I would.
2. I live in a small two-bedroom apartment because I'd rather spend my money on things I want to do rather than all the stuff and expense that go into homeownership.
3. I love black licorice, salt and vinegar kettle chips and cumin.
4. At the age of nearly 48 I've learned how to knit.
5. I shop at thrift stores for environmental impact reasons, but I also have a lot of fun doing it.
6. I sleep in a loftbed that I made myself with the help of a friend.
7. The word "Knowing" is painted on the wall in my living room, which is really my studio.
Anyone interested in continuing the meme, follow your bliss!
Have you ever gotten word that your child's school was closed, and the temperature was 41 degrees outside?
Well, that happened to me this morning.
I blinked at the auto responder email in my inbox--"this does not compute" sounding in my brain.
What in the world?
So I verified. Yes indeed, there were several school districts here in the hinterlands of the metro area who share the commonality of dirt roads where buses would not travel well because the ground is still frozen, and the now-frozen recently-melted snow on top of that frozen ground would make those buses slide like huge hippos on ice should they attempt such a thing. That's the theory.
It reminded me of a morning way-y-y-y-y-y back in 1987 in South Carolina where I was teaching at the time. The news was broadcast that there was no school that day because a dusting of snow had accumulated and the overpasses in the area would be treacherous for the buses. I was astounded, being a girl from northern Minnesota, where school in my day was rarely called because of weather. Delighted, but astounded.
Buses control the world at the moment, is the lesson I'm taking away from all of this.
And yes, that looks funny with only one "s". But I'm sticking with it, since the dictionary says it will approve of either.
How hard is it to make stuff up? she said. Not hard at all, I said. The real trick is knowing to stop before you get confused.
Story People
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Um, excuse me, but most of what I experience in the world has been made up by someone else, so why not live in a world of your own design that makes sense to you?
How much worse could it be than bathing in what our culture would have us believe is good for you? Most of us need to reinvent ourselves each morning to stave off the influences we'd rather not live our lives by, so making things up sounds like thriving to me.
Susie: Didn't you hear the bell? Recess is over. It's time to go in.
Calvin, swinging: I'm not done yet. It takes me more than one recess to wear myself into a state of submission.
Teacher: If there are no more questions, we'll move on to the next chapter.
Calvin: I have a question.
Teacher: Certainly, Calvin. What is it?
Calvin: What's the point of human existence?
Teacher: I meant any questions about the subject at hand.
Calvin: Oh.
Calvin: Frankly, I'd like to have the issue resolved before I expend any more energy on this.
Here's a link to my interview ride on Homeless Dave's teeter totter, where you can find out about backyard chickens and parking spots as temporary open public spaces.
This may be making the rounds in cyberspace, and I don't often read much less enjoy this chain mail type stuff, BUT this is so hilarious I had to post it here. If it's real, that 's cool - if it's not, I love the sense of humor of the person who put it together. Either way it made my morning.
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Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight UPS pilots fill out a form called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last………………
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
When you offer a vibration, the Universal forces are working in concert with each other in order to satisfy you. You really are the center of the Universe.
-- Abraham
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I knew it.
I've been transformed recently.
I decided to don a wig, on a semi-permanent basis, and it's turned out to be a very pleasant experience.
My motivation was at first to cover up the dreadful, painful period of time it would take for me to grow out my natural hair, and see where that took me.
The germination of this idea includes having tried on a wig at a friend's house and seeing how I could be transformed by color and style and shape. That image never left me, and played a pivotal role in my current adventure.
I went to a cosmetic supply shop that I'd been eyeing for quite some time, that had wigs displayed in the window. The woman who owns the place was very sweet and helpful and I'm not sure who enjoyed it more, me or her. She said I am the only person that's ever come into her shop that could wear all the wigs that I tried on, and I tried on at least a dozen, and almost every one looked crazy cool on me for one reason or another. Something about my coloring and how it matched the auburn-ness to varying degrees in the different wigs.
But there was one I kept coming back to. The style, the color, how it made me feel when I put it on, was all amazing.
This is not your mama's wig, either. I've had people who I work with everyday tell me that they assumed I was someone they didn't know, the first time they saw me with it on, and that it was natural. It doesn't itch and it doesn't look like a dead rat.
Crazy, man.
All the times in the past that I HAVE tried to grow out my hair, I wanted it to look how this wig looks on me. No muss, no fuss, no curling irons, no permanents, no coloring, no frosting, no clips, no headbands, no barrettes, no combs.
Pull it on, and you're done.
I stand differently, I talk differently, I engage differently. It's brought out a side of me that is quite pleasant to get to know.
So I'm thinkin' that this is just who I'll be for awhile. Maybe get a few more to fill out a wardrobe, and wear each one as the mood strikes me.
I highly recommend it.
We tease that someday we think your Webster’s Dictionary will define “money” as “not enough”, because that is the usual feeling that we feel from most of you when you use the word. And so, if you are wanting to change that, what you are wanting to do is replace the word with a word that is less resistant in nature. Replace it with a word like “Energy” or make up a new word. Begin calling money “nachos” or something like that. “If I can gather enough nachos, I’ll go to the ball game this weekend.” Because usually there is not so much resistance. Make up some word that you have fun with. Some word that is fulfilling to you, you see. And as you are finding a new vibration that is less resistant, the money will flow to you.
Most of you are not short on wanting money, you are just tall on resisting it, and so, goosing up wanting only amplifies resistance. Sometimes we teach: “Well, just talk about what you’ll do with the money. Imagine spending it. Imagine all of things that you’ll do with it.” But if you’ve already developed quite a bit of resistance about money, that can be a quite an aggravating, annoying game, and most of you don’t stick with it very long.
Deliberately try to reduce your resistance around the word “money”, and one way of doing it is to recognize that everything is flowing to you on this Energy Stream. We’ve watched Jerry and Esther who are, and have been for many years, very comfortable with dollars. The dollars that flow to them are abundant and flow easily, and what Esther is beginning to notice is that there are many things that are of a wonderful nature that are happening in their life that don’t have anything to do with dollars.
The abundance flows in many more avenues than dollars. And so, if you could focus upon the gifts that the Universe gives you: When you say “abundance”, think about it in the abundance of health, the abundance of vitality, the abundance of clarity, the abundance of enthusiasm, the abundance of delicious people in your life, the abundance of loving letters in your life. The abundance of free- flowing traffic in your life. The abundance of wonderful experiences in your life… As you start thinking in terms of this abundance that doesn’t have anything to do with dollars — the abundance relative to the dollars starts flowing, too.
--Abraham
Story of the Day: Deepest Desires
Wish for your deepest desires, she said & when I asked if they'd come true, she said they always do, so you might as well get them out in the open while you're still young enough to correct any serious mistakes.
Meme borrowed from here:
List ten things you want to say to 10 people you know, but never will for whatever reason. Don't say who they are. Use each person only once and only use one sentence.
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I don't usually go in for this kind of thing. But I can't wait to begin this list. All kinds of juiciness lies on the other side of it, I'm sure.
Stay tuned.
Story People story of the Day:
Fortunate enough to know the difference between good & bad with some free time to try it out ~
I'm getting ready to go somewhere to have some fun.
I remember this feeling from a long time ago, from a time when I would get ready to engage in unbridled fun. The anticipation, wondering what insane thing someone would do; what inspired laughter would shake my frame and make my face hurt by the end of the evening; what music would be playing in the background to further drench the atmosphere in good vibes.
At this point in my life, that long-ago version is safely and appreciatively left in the long-ago - I can't keep up with that intensity anymore. Now it's more intelligently choreographed, experienced with more awareness, tweaked as I go along with more intent. It rides deeper, lasts longer, makes more sense, jazzes me on levels I never thought I'd get to. The memories from my younger self, they are a kind of template that sat waiting for me to stumble upon them again as this self I am now, the one who brings all the pieces together.
And this time around, I understand how I contribute to the episode as much as anyone else does. No, scratch that. More so.
If it walks out of the refrigerator by itself, let it go.
--Source unknown
This song was popular when I lived in Europe. Blast from the past.....
Here is a first-time video/music choreography by a friend of mine. Enjoy!
A coworker of mine was telling me this story this morning about Homeless Dave, a guy who is married to someone that her partner works with, and is definitely not homeless but appears that way because of how he chooses to dress and wear his hair, and his general free-spirit life.
Anyway, he has this blog that is dedicated to his political ramblings and environmental interests (I guess back in July he rigged up a hand-crank washing machine to a stationary bicycle that he rides to operate the machine), as well as these interviews he does in his backyard on this teeter-totter he built. He takes a picture of each interviewee on the teeter-totter, records the interview and then transcribes it onto the blog. Since learning about this guy, I've changed one of my aspirations from that of being on Oprah to getting invited to sit on that teeter-totter.
fractured tea party
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sounds like the place to be, doesn't it?
So the universe is playing an interesting game with me, or I am playing an interesting game with myself, one of the two. My cable access went on the fritz on Tuesday sometime before I got home from work, and due to my blossoming social life, I'm not able to be home to greet a technician until Friday evening or Saturday morning. Which is fine, except for that addiction to instant cyber gratification thing. The pull is so strong I even took my laptop to the local library that first night, thinking they had wireless - they don't. I needed cat 5 cable to plug into the table that is wired into their network.
If it weren't for access at work, I would be going through withdrawal symptoms, and it wouldn't be pretty. Or would it. Maybe my eyes and my neck and shoulder muscles are trying to get my attention. Maybe this is a very good thing, and I'll be a better woman for it. Maybe I'll cancel my cable altogether.
Nah.
I didn't see the red stamping on the bill at first--it was on both sides, and made the bill look fake. Ah, Where's George, that site where you can track where the bill has been. Not much message in a bottle with this one. It's traveled only 200 miles in over a year. From Ohio. Bummer. Makes me want to mail it somewhere to expand its story potential.
All-time best metaphor for life. Enjoy this Australian rendition of wisdom to be gleaned from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Life does not depend on human understanding for it to unfold in wisdom.
-- Alan Cohen
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Free will is dangerous enough - can you imagine how f'ed up we would be were we totally left to our own devices? Thank you, universe, for that attraction thing goin' on. My money's on you.
Ever have a dream at night, Debra, when you wondered in the middle of it whether or not you were dreaming? Knowing that if you were "just" dreaming, you could rewrite the scary parts and enhance the happy parts: run faster, jump higher, laugh your head off; summon guides, travel through time, read minds; levitate, manifest, do the impossible? But then, you thought to yourself, "No, this just can't be a dream, it's way too real."
Yeah, you're having one right now.
Gosh, you're good -
The Universe
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Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®
Yeah, Debra, you really are...
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Yeah. I am :-)
Arms up and out, half bent, hands just above head level, facing your peeps waving in a circular fashion. Subtly sway to the left, then to the right. Keep with it, back and forth. Don't stop waving. Now mix in a gentle bob, up and down... That's right, Debra, good...
Now add a little, "Whoo-hooooo, Whoo-hoooo....." as you sway.
Perfect.
Just 5 seconds of this happy dance, just 5 seconds, even when feeling blue, will always make you smile. Your smile will lift your spirits. Your spirits will summon ancient friends. And your friends will raise you higher into the light.
Works every time.
This has been a public service announcement brought to you by.... The Universe
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Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®
© www.tut.com ®
No one said shimmy, Debra.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But I wanna shimmy.
More MySpace spam:
Hello Babie
How are you doing there , I hope you are okay there. My name is Michael. i am 46 years old from Utah,Sandy city in USA , I just went through your file , I saw your profile I was acquinted by you profile , I was highly impressed and deadly gorgeous , You're so cute and Prettylady , I would like to know more about you ,As I can see that your physical appearance is so beautiful , It's make me feel that your emotional and deeply inside would be adorable , I really admire the way you look so much ..I'm here to look for the right one for me a commitment relationship on here , That's would favour and concered my discomfort from my ex-lovers that died five years ago ,I'm easy going man , Honest and trustworthy ,Loyal and obedient to my love once ,I'm caring and friendly , Open minded and tendernesss, i will really like to hear back from you soon ... I would be looking to hear from you pretty soon.You can send me an email . i am also on yahoo chat now you can talk to me,my id is mdm3196
private email address [email protected] or msn
You have a nice time and bye for now.
michael
Somehow, I don't think the person who wrote that looks like this:
It's possible, but not likely.
Read this on GEORGE!: and even though it's not funny if you're in one of these, the stereotype from afar is kind of amusing:
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Ah the friend zone, how I love you so. We’ve all been stuck in it, I’ve written about it before, there is even a pretty decent movie all about the friend zone. (”Just friends” if you’re wondering, check it out.) I read a pretty funny quote not too long ago, not to quote exactly, because I can’t find it anymore, but the scenario is something like this:
A male and a female are close friends. It could be for years or just a few months or weeks even. He is most definitely interested in her. After all you hear all of this bullshit from your friends who are currently in relationships, “He’s my best friend and I couldn’t love it more.” Or something along the lines of, “We were such good friends beforehand, then one day I just realized it was meant to be.” Well let me tell you, today is not your day. Right now? You’re just a friend, good luck getting much more than a peak at her ass when she bends over to pick up her purse. You can’t get out of it, you’re stuck. “You’re an AWESOME (always the emphasis) friend, I love everything about you, we’re just better off as friends.” AKA. “I’m really vulnerable right now and don’t want to take the easy way out. I’d like to make some mistakes in my life and really need to be treated like shit. You can’t provide that for me right now.”
You could compare this situation to going to a great job interview. You are making them laugh, you haven’t stuttered once, maybe you even brought up how good of a cook you are would be willing to do a pot-luck. (personal experience) Anyway, near the end of the interview, the employer just lays it all out there.
“You know, you’re a great candidate. You’re very qualified and fill all of our needs. We’re not going to hire you though, we’re going to go a different direction with this one. That different direction could be an alcoholic, or someone who shows up to work 15-30 minutes late everyday. We’ll probably regret our mistake and constantly compare them to your resume. Hell, we’ll probably even call you to complain about how bad they were and then remind you how good of a candidate you are.”
Then when they actually do let them go, they’re in a “hiring freeze” or “we just aren’t accepting new applications.” Meaning, “I am really hurt and the only thing that could help me right now is going out to dance with my girls and possibly make some more bad decision.” Or, “I’m thinking about becoming a lesbian.”
And I’ll be there to tell them how good of an idea that is. Time after time.
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and a reader was brilliant enough to point out:
"Of course, there is the male version of the 'only friends' role. But it's termed 'fuck buddy.' They’ll call you, seduce you, sleep with you, but they are 'not ready' for a girlfriend. Funny, ’cause I’m pretty much filling all said duties except checking in on you! So, no fear my brother, it goes both ways."
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Ew. Check in on you? Whatever.
cool profile, i like the neck muscles in your priamary photo.
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The spelling is one thing, but neck muscles?
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Don't take your time, Aries. Move double
fast and strategize from many angles, always thinking ten steps ahead.
Please don't keep your hands clean, either. Play with the muck and roll in the
mud and learn from the dirt. And don't you dare be measured and
balanced. Instead, be an intense and relentless initiator of decisive
actions. One last thing: Don't play nice and sweet. Be a holy
troublemaker, a noisemaker who breaks the silence and keeps it broken.
**************************************************************
Cool. You don't have to tell me twice.
I'm KELLY and i'm from Carlifornia In santa Cruz ,i came accross your profile while searching on this site, and saw you so attractive and decided to email you. You are so pretty that i believe God spent extra time creating you and if i were to present your picture in heaven, all the angels would hide their faces in shame.
I'm a gentle hearted man, i like making friends because friends are the best. Love is not about body stature, but its all about what is in the heart. what i care about is u are beautiful and i wish to be the man you've always wanted and i'm sure you and i would work things nicely beaing together. I like holding hands walking together side by side and sharing love vows and i see you as a woman i would love to do that with and cuddle with.
like playing volleyball and alsolike going to watch movies. I've learnt to respect beauty very well thats why i respect you. I know that love has no distance, because what is meant to be will always find a way to be. So all that matters is for the two hearts to be together somewhere
I've been divorced for many years now and i wish to settle down now t find a real Love. im into computer business as manger of zinox company.Can you please reply me at my private email.... [email protected]... so we could get to chat pls add me to ur yahoo messenger instant im so that will can talk better , my yahoo id is rxgate_kellyjoe4uuuuu...... so that will can chat and make this conversation serrious and see where it takes us to.
Hope to hear from you soon
kelly
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Ever since I posted a profile on MySpace, I've received at least one entreaty a week written in this distinctive voice, beseeching me to contact him and see where our fated love will take us. This one is lacking the usual "I am a widow raising a child on my own" tag line, however. At first I reported every single one of these impostor profiles to the MySpace customer service people, but they soon tired of the volume. Now I just click on the Spam button and they go away with no more fanfare.
This morning I am a bit intrigued by who this person might be, what kind of life they lead, and what compels them to write these insistent notes, besides the likelihood that someone will answer them and who knows what scam will ensue. But the curiosity ends there with me, Kelly Jo.
The great adventure has begun. It involves power tools and measuring and busting old stories out the wazoo. I am building a loft bed with the help of a friend who has the necessary skills and tools and is willing to show me the way through the wilderness. This cargo of lumber is now cut to size and patiently waiting for drilling and staining,
Power tools are a fascinating thing. They work really well when used in the proper manner and with healthy respect for safety, but somehow this saw blade just wasn't into it......
This array of clouds kept me company on the way to work this morning while gawker delay kept the pace to a minimum for the first 30 minutes. I didn't even mind....
Yup, I called you Weirdo. Anybody who puts as much stock as either you or I do in a bunch of dead guys talking through a senior citizen who travels around the country in a motor home must be a Weirdo.
Anybody else been tempted to try this cleansing flush for 9 days?
Regimen:
1.) Wake up and drink 1 quart of warm water with 2 tsp of uniodized sea salt (this is supposedly an internal enema calling it a "salt water flush")
8 oz. water
2 tbs. fresh squeezed organic lemon juice
2 tbs. grade b organic maple syrup
1/10 tsp cayenne pepper
3.) 1 cup herbal laxative tea before bedtime
4.) Hot shower in morning and evening using a body brush to shed toxins on surface of skin
“They were up a tree without a paddle.” - thanks to Jenny
This tops, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Mostly because I don't subscribe to the gender war under-current in this line. A fish without a bicycle doesn't know that it doesn't know that there's something amazing to be experienced outside its day-to-day round, if one can only open up to new possibilities.
Being up a tree without a paddle, however, just conjures up priceless imagery in my head: frantically scraping a canoe paddle against a tree trunk while being whipped around said tree sitting in a canoe that is currently possessed by an electronic bull mechanism. Or something like that.
Um, just when exactly did I use the words "penis enlargement" on my web site, and just how exactly did that phrase bring someone to it in a search engine, as my reporting says it did - not just once, but twice? These spammers, these cyber slime, they become more and more clever as their past attempts at subterfuge are cut off at the knees. I say, come over from the dark side, and applyyour skills to something useful. Like, I don't know - penis enlargement.
It's been a long time since I've been inside a church, voluntarily or otherwise. Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend an Easter musical event inside one such amazing structure. The acoustics made the experience so pleasurable that I forgot about where I was. It helped that the orchestral and choral arrangements were contemporary, and it helped that good company was sitting next to me. My soul was fed by the music from the first notes to the last. The entire event was a sweet labor of love, and the director has my admiration for sustaining the enthusiasm for his dream in order to make it come alive again and again.
I've been listening the past few days to the broadcasts from Illumination University. Unfortunately they don't begin until 9:00 EDT, which is pretty much my bedtime, but I've stayed up a little later than usual to take in what's begin said. Fascinating concept, millions of people around the world hearing the same message at the same time in real time, and the ripple effects of what these people do with what they've heard. I haven't gone out to peruse blogs to find out what people are thinking, since what I've heard so far isn't that new to me. Some of it will be to many others.
But what is new are the dreams I've been having. The first night, I dreamt about coming upon my car, after going to a spontaneous meeting that involved people from my past but they were aged appropriately for the present. My auto was in shambles when I got to it - car thieves had done their thing, and there wasn't much left to the carcass. And I was completely OK with that. It was like permission to move on. Very cool.
Last night was no different, although I don't have a clear recollection at this point in the day of what I dreamed about. Tonight is the last of the broadcasts, and I'm looking forward to the effects in my sleep.
More evidence of energy weirdness:
"There will be some substantial energy shifts between this eclipse and the spring equinox. If you can stay present with this energy, rather than fighting or resisting or trying to force yourself through it, this energy can support you in making some huge shifts in your consciousness. A change in thinking. A change in your belief structure about yourself and how you show up in the world. This energy will be palpable to most everyone from March 19th to the 22nd."
I was musing with a friend yesterday how weird things feel lately, and I seem to be running across evidence like this as to why that might be so. How cool would that be if the human race as a whole is shifting its consciousness and just kicking and screaming all the way. WHen we get tired, then we'll shift.
Cybremarketing genius:
1. My wail or respirator!!
2. Which rejoice a vacuum !!
Connected and Committed relationship transformation strategist.
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