Connected and Committed

JOT Day Finito, or Integrating Into The Everyday

The time has come to discontinue numbering posts for JOT.

And for integrating the practice into the everyday.

It's enough of a habit now.

I suppose having reached the three digit mark might have had something to do with it.

Or not.

I have focus and direction now, and that was the whole idea.

Just one thing.

The amazing power behind intention.

Harness some.

I highly recommend it.

JOT Day 101 - Tired

Tired eyes.

Going to be taking a break from the monitor for spring break with little man.

Back in a few.

JOT Day 100 - Now what?

 

You've done everything you were taught to do as a "responsibile adult", and there still is this thing that you can't figure out how to "do".

Maybe it's finding that perfect partner. Or turning the relationship you do have into the one you really want.

Or making the money you know deep down you deserve, doing the work that you were meant to do.

Or getting healthy again.

Or understanding why you're angry all the time.

Or anxious.

Or just. not. happy.

The toolbox of solutions that this culture gave you is now empty after fruitless application of its contents.

You want answers.

Cuz this shit has got to stop.

You want clarity, energy, money, time, peace of mind.

How do you get out of your own way?

Now what?

JOT Day 99 - Prime the pump with imperfect action

Ooo.

Just about to break the three-digit mark here in JOTland.

There is something about that mile-marker that feels substantial, good and true.

And it's interesting that I experienced a bit of movement around my marketing messaging today with my coaches at this juncture.

Very interesting.

I'm proving to myself, again, that taking action from a stuck place starts from wherever you are, with an intention NOT to be stuck.

And a predisposition to take some action, ANY action, to get things moving.

It's more about priming the pump than getting it perfect.

Cuz getting it perfect, well, that's probably part of what got you stuck in the first place.

 

 

JOT Day 98 - Sylvia the Harpist from Cleveland

I'm taking an improv class, and tonight we got our first taste at scene building.

For a few moments, I was Silvia the retired harpist from Cleveland whose children don't visit her anymore because they think she's crazy.

And then I was an expert shoe maker for possums being interviewed on a cable access channel.

It was a ton of fun.

And the guy who usually freezes up because he's trying so hard?

He LOVEd it.

He even volunteered to go twice in that last exercise.

It was amazing to behold.

Going outside your comfort zone almost guarantees amazing things, just because normal is so, well, normal.

It's just that pesky fear that gets in the way.

Or not.

 

JOT Day 95, 96, 97 - Authentic story

Authentic story.

The one where you once had a problem, and you went looking for a solution, and you found one.

Apparently this puts you in an elite group of humans, maybe 2% of the population or something like that.

The ones who do something about what's going on in their lives.

Sure, they think about it, maybe for years.

But at some critical juncture, they actually take some action.

Wow.

I forget that sometimes.

I forget how intimidating a solution looks to someone who can't see it that way.

I forget how overwhelming it looks to someone who can't hear it that way.

It's a fascinating relationship, the human spirit and the human.

Thankfully one rises above the other.

What's your authentic story?

JOT Day 94 - What pisses you off?

What pisses you off?

What preventable "crime" gets in your craw?

Nothing wrong with an emotional provocation.

It means you are alive and breathing, have blood moving through your veins, and aren't completely numbed by modern civilization.

But then.

What solution have you crafted for this abomination?

What's your contribution to bettering the planet in this particular regard?

Hmm.

It's easy to get stuck in the juice of resentment, indignation, justification, stewing in that energy and seeing it as a contribution.

Staying stuck doesn't serve you, or that thing you rage against.

It is possible to move on.

And then be able to make the world a better place.

Starting with yours.

Would you like to learn how?

 

 

 

 

JOT Day 93 - Resistance to the next step

It's not very often anymore that I feel resistance of any magnitude on the ol' resistance scale.

But I'm learning new skills these days, skills that touch on several areas of just plain old lack of knowledge, and I'm feelin' the pain.

Not necessarily physical or emotional pain, but I'm feeling the edge that people get to when they see a possible solution to a problem in their lives, but the space between them and that solution seems to vast and so crazy impossible that they simply stop.

And the problem continues, unabated and probably with more of a bite because they are silently or not-so-silently berating themselves for not having the chutzpah to actually do the thing that scares them.

Months or years can go by before the problem consumes so much of their time and waking hours wondering what the hell to do about it that they become willing to venture close to that solution again.

Maybe.

I get that.

I get that things can feel so big and so unattainable that it just feels better to stop trying.

And the solution that is so enticing and tantalizing also feels like a huge albatross around your neck.

Because what if you fail?

What if you do it wrong?

What if it doesn't work?

What if....

We allow our minds to play these games with us.

That looming, dark, impossible quality to what we think we want is just a trick our egos play on us, drafting off the self-talk loops we learned from those around us growing up who were also playing that game with themselves.

Because the truth is, it's never as difficult as we think it's going to be.

The awful thing that we dread happening never happens.

The discomfort we anticipate is quickly replaced with a new sense of confidence and accomplishment that we didn't anticipate.

And there is no fail. Just judgment.

There is no "wrong". Just overachievement syndrome. 

And if things don't work out 100% the first time, that's because we're practicing, and it's highly unlikely that anything happens 100% right out of the gate.

Ever.

You didn't allow this mind-game stuff to prevent you from learning how to walk, or talk, or feed yourself.

You knew way back then that these were the next logicial steps in navigating this big ol' world, and you didn't spend one minute thinking about not being able to learn how do them. 

Remember?

JOT Day 92 - That sacred transaction

We undervalue what we know.

"If it comes second nature to me, doesn't everyone get it?"

Um, no.

No one comes to the table with the same filters, experiences, skillset, confidence, ability or attitude.

No one.

And no one comes to the table with yours.

Except you.

No one knows what you know, has been where you've been, has conquered what you've conquered, has learned what you've learned.

We undervalue what we know.

 

JOT Day 91 - Check, check, check

Set up calendar for new clients. Check.

Read packet on authentic interviews. Check.

Listen to mp3 downloads on authentic niche. Check.

Redo client questionairre. Check.

Field interesting little blips of resistance and smile. Check.

 

JOt Day 87, 88, 89, 90 - Why Was That Such a Big Deal

Well, because it was.

And now it's not.

What once seemed so looming, so daunting, so impossible, so overwhelming--is now just an integrated part of you.

Remember junior high? Or middle shcool, or whatever it was called where you were when puberty and the cult of peer pressure kicked in?

Talking to a member of another gender seemed an especially ridiculously difficult task, mostly because we made it out to be so in our heads.

And bought into what the culture tells us about relationships and dating and making sure that we put across an "image" of someone, not necessarily ourselves. Because we've been practicing not to be who we really are for about a decade by then.

We're told, "Just be yourself," and that's about the last thing we ever do, any day of the week.

Sigh.

So this week I got to experience the shift from daunting to very, very doable--I knew that it would be, but I had other human components to factor in, which means the outcome isn't under my control--with a particular event, and it feels pretty darn good, to more than one of the components involved.

Just another cha-ching in the physics of emotion department.

I practiced ever increasingly better feeling thoughts around the subject, and the outcome was fabulous.

I didn't try to fix something in the usually left-brained, human hunt-it-down-and-kill-it fashion.

I let my emotions show me the way.

Cuz they are calling the shots anyway.

I just learned how to work with them, not brace myself against their onslaught.

They really are user friendly.

Really.

 

JOT Day 86 - Moving On Up, To the East Side (of the Emotional Scale)

In the framework that makes sense to me about how the universe works, there's a phenomenon at work all the time that affects our experience on the planet.

Gravity falls into that category, but that's not what I am referring to.

I'm talking about the principle that's at work whether we realizeit, or acknowledge it, or not.

Some people refer to it as the law of attraction--like attracts like, things likened to itself are drawn.

I've started calling it the physics of emotion.

Because emotion is what drives this whole mechanism.

And I think that is fabulously ironic and fascinating at the same time.

Ironic because our culture is currently fueled by the power myth--might makes right, control is where it's at, and all that ineffective gesturing that has gotten us into the quagmire we are in.

Fascinating because science is beginning to discover ways to measure this phenomenon, and it's not what anyone was expecting.

I like that a lot.

Sure, it's a bit unnerving, and sure, it's a tad out of the ordinary, but hey--that's what's called for when the status quo is obviously not working.

When you know how to apply this physics of emotion, you experience the kind of day-to-day that I do--things getting better and better, more complex and deeper satisfaction, all the hallmarks of a well-lived life.

Another example of that occured today while I was on the phone with a local community organization, looking for somewhere for my son to spend some time during the summer.

The perfect opportunity presented itself. Bam.

Why? Because I've been practicing really hard on my moving-up-the-emotional-scale skills.

I've been listening to inspiring material that promotes a positive frame of mind and reinforces the big enough "Why?" to practice in the first place.

I've been catching myself when I think a less than positive thought, and doing what I can in any given moment to turn it into something that serves me, with the help of my Resistance Toys.

I've been persistent.

I've been tenacious.

I've been relentless.

All because I know the location of the pot of gold.

In my head.

 

 

 

JOT Day 85 - When it melts, it melts

Hallelujah. I walked outside without gloves and a hat for the first time since 2010.

So there's that.

And the fact that everything--simply everything--is lining up, the more I do.

When I catch myself pushing against an idea or person's opinion, BAM. Lining up does not happen.

But when I remember to mind my own business and focus on what I want, BAM. Lining up happens.

There have been a succession of moments over the last ten years when I experienced a breakthrough along these lines with significant areas of interest in my life--relationships was the first biggie that I could physically feel different around. In the beginning there were snapshots of time where I didn't feel anxious or powerless or less-than, and try as I would, I couldn't budge that knowing in my gut.

Then they got longer and longer until it was the whole photo album of moments, and the times I felt anxious were the exception, not the rule.

These days I feel that way about pretty much everything. Feeling less than stellar is the exception.

I still need to re-orient in the morning and purposefully choose where I want my thoughts to go, but so does everyone. That isn't a sign of weakness or an ineffective technique. We are human, and we forget this stuff without reminders.

And that's why we're all here, to help each other remember.

But the pay-off is so worth it, paying the price of happiness to lose the anxiety is a no-brainer.

Can you say that about your spiritual practice?

 

 

 

JOT Day 83 - That kind of vicious circle

Unintentional but glorious sleeping in.

Homemade spinach omelets. With bacon.

Writing newsletter copy in advance.

Packing a few boxes.

Anticipating the above freezing weather about to come our way.

These are the things that fuel dancing in the upper registers of the emotional scale.

And thus drives the arrival of more good stuff in the future.

That's the kind of vicious circle I like being caught up in.

 

JOT Day 82 - I like answering questionnaires that have questions worth answering

I like answering questionnaires that have questions worth answering.

"What would you bring with you to a deserted island?" is not a question worth answering.

You don't get to choose what you'd take if you end up on one, so why the question?

Here's one worth asking: "What accomplishments must, in your opinion, occur during your lifetime so that you will consider your life to have been satisfying and well lived--a life of few or no regrets?"

And one worth answering.

You can't do it with favorite television shows or the viral video of the week.

You have to reflect and ponder and decide and discover and realize to answer that question.

And of course all kinds of things will come up for processing, like why am I not doing those things that will sum up to my satisfying life?

I know why.

I know why, and I know how to stop not doing those things.

And I'm learning how to tell you what I know, so you can benefit from that knowledge too.

I promise I will never ask about the desert island.

But I will ask about the well-lived thing.

Because everyone deserves that kind of life.

Everyone.

Especially you.

 

JOT Day 81 - This Kind of Adventure

More sidewalk showing every day. Woo hoo!

Started in with the work in my coaching. Answering probing questions begins the process before the first substantive conversation takes place.

I wish everyone this kind of adventure.

JOT Day 80 - Breadcrumbs from a buddy

I committed to investing in myself and working with a coach today, and I can't wait to dig in and get to The Work.

I've been in this kind of relationship before, and the results are amazing.

Whatever the focus of the coaching, if you are coachable, your life will change in ways you couldn't imagine, because you don't have your own entrenched thoughts as your only source of information.

You get someone else's experience and wisdom who has been there, done that, and knows that it isn't all that hard, it just takes practice and showing up. It's also nice to have a map from someone who left breadcrumbs for the rest of us.

Momentum is building as I approach the one-third mark of this project.

And I have a feeling the pace picks up exponentially from here.

 

 

JOT Day 79 - Weasel-free Zone

This entire JOT project is about taking risks and putting myself out there in ways that feel right and push my comfort zone boundaries while still having fun.

I started reading the Poke the Box workbook recently that accompanies the Domino Project Poke the Box publication. Among other things, it says, "This will require you to explore corners of your life where you hesitate, procrastinate, or weasel your way out because you're afraid."

I like the distinction there. Sometimes we do those things because we really don't want to be doing them, and we said we would because we wanted to be perceived as nice.

Which I guess still comes around to being afraid of being who we really are, without checking with the social acceptability police first.

Granted, we have only been practicing those skills that we were taught way-y-y-y-y-y back when by people who passed them down because the same had been done for them.

Breaking the chain of ancestral baggage is a noble cause, one that I think should be embraced more often.

It is scary.

But boy, does it feel good to let go of those artificial restraints that sap the life out of you.

More: "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." - Alice Walker.

Not that they don't have any, but that they THINK they don't have any.

Cuz it's always within reach. It just might have been gathering dust in someone else's agenda for awhile.

Taking it back requires courage and fortitude and having had enough of something, already.

Actually, it only takes withdrawing your implicit consent with unspoken social agreements that are founded on faulty reasoning, otherwise known as lies.

Most popular one? "You aren't good enough just the way you are."

That's where the weasling began, trying to get around the discomfort of being burdened with an untruth that reverberates around the cosmos.

I declare a weasel-free zone for all of us.

Done.

Next?

 

JOT Day 78 - Follow your gut bliss

That's what I said. Follow your gut bliss.

That's what I'm doing these days, as opposed to trying to think my way through an experience.

Feel your way through it. Follow your intuition and your inner guidance. You know when you're skidding off into analysis paralysis. It sucks, doesn't it?

Today I spoke with some new folks in my life who were speakin' my language on several occasions, and it felt so good. I can tell I'm in another stretch of good stuff again, after a patch of fallowness.

Which is fine. It's all part of the process and is quite predictable by now.

On to more gut bliss.

 

JOT Day 76, 77 - Improv is fun!

Went to my first improv class last night at Dudley Riggs. It was fabulous. Since the philosophy behind the program is play and creativity and fun, I felt right at home. The instructor led us through some ice-breaker exercises so we could get to know each other and some of the nervousness and overwhelm could be diffused.

It's a very interesting group. I met a woman who is a scientist, an artist and a monk, all in the same body/mind. Isn't that amazing? And she wanted to find out what improv could add to her life too. I'm the oldeest one there chronologically, I'm fairly certain. There are two sets of newlyweds. Someone who has experience teaching overseas. And a lawyer who teaches yoga. Can't wait to get to know these people better.

And to feel the shift inside as I get more confident and able to be wacky on my feet. Cuz that's the whole idea.

JOT Day 74, 75 - Take the planet's evolution off of pause, and press play in your life

Resistance is fueled by unexamined or unchallenged beliefs that aren't true.

It's also fueled by putting other people's needs before your own. This is otherwise known as being a doormat.

Another thing that keeps resistance in place is not honoring the requirements you have developed and are afraid to teach others so they will know how to treat the new you.

Especially you--how to treat yourself differently.

It's so much easier to keep the status quo in place.

Or is it?

The amount of energy it takes to hold a train-wreck waiting to happen in place is a thousand times more than letting it go and doing what you really want to do.

Clarity is priceless. It takes away the smoke and mirrors of the foothold resistance thinks it has on you, and makes things very simple: you are holding on to beliefs that don't serve you and don't serve those around you, and it feels safer to stay small than it does to grow.

So are you going to let yourself get away with that?

It drives you crazy when you see it in your friends and family. Why should you be able to continue this slow poisoning of yourself?

The price you pay for safety is too high.

It robs you of your vitality, your income potential, your creative expression and your dignity.

Cuz Resistance's cousin, Inner Critic, has field days with this stuff, doesn't she?

it doesn't matter where those messages came from originally--it was either a family member or a religious authority figure or a teacher of somebody that needed to feel bigger than you in that moment.

Or it's ancestral baggage that hasn't been processed for decades, and you're the lucky one who gets to deal with it for the family, since they aren't about to.

But it doesn't matter where it came from. It's a lie, and you don't have to believe it anymore.

Take the planet's evolution off of pause, and press play in your life.

The ripple effect alone is worth the perceived price of admission.

JOT Day 73 - Right on schedule

So this resistance thing I've been wrestling with, or trying not to wrestle with, I got some relief from it this morning.

There were some thoughts rolling around in my head that felt better and gave me some hope that this thing is starting to shift.

You can tell when you've done some good work upstairs because thoughts that are different than the ones that drive you nuts become available to you.

So I was able to build another page on my website and move forward with plans for others.

I received my improv class registration info and have it all ready for Monday evening.

And a very good friend offered some relavent info for mitigating my quandry.

Thank you, universe, for setting things up the way you've set them up. Once I catch on, I get it, and then it's come along for the ride or get out of the way.

JOT Day 71, 72 - Resistance thy name is futile

Every once in awhile, we run into resistance so thick and gooey that it is magnificent in its perceived impassibility.

It's been a long time since that's happened to me, but here it is, on my doorstep, in my lap, staring me down like the amusing little gremlin that it is.

Except it feels like a giant.

I can't really put my finger on exactly what is kicking up such a fuss, but I have a pretty good idea, and that is all the seeding it takes to go on a decent hunt for resistance bear.

It's a pretty good rule of thumb that wherever there is resistance there is big, juicy change ready in the wings, just waiting for you to make a shift in your beliefs.

Only the big, bad resistance bogey man likes to take all the attention and limelight.

He'd like for us to believe that what we perceive to be true is true, so he can stay safe and continue ruling the roost.

And maybe he does for a little while.

But then the shifts start happening, and he has no choice but to relinquish command.

He never entirely disappears, and he doesn't need to.

He can assume the role of outback guard around the campfire, staying alert for any real dangers that might be lurking in the shadows.

All that extensive training doesn't have to go to waste.

 

JOT Day 70 - Refined Sugar and my bundle of joy

Brain fog still remains, but I do feel about 2000% better than I did one week ago.

At times like these is when baby steps are even more valuable. They have even more impact than on days when we could tackle a gazillion things in our inboxes.

SoI'm counting posting this update, for Day 70--woo hoo!--as my babystep, because I could so easily say screw it, I'm not doing it.

And I am appreciating the amazing ability of my body/mind to right itself. With my assitance in giving it nutrients that don't cancel each other out--i.e. refined sugar, I'm taking off the load that put me where I am in the first place.

Our bodies weren't built to process that stuff, and we each react to its presence in different ways.

Mine particular ways and means are weight gain, of course, since each 4 grams of refined sugar equals a teaspoon of the stuff that eventually turns into body fat.

For those of you who drink canned sugar water (pop), how many teaspoons of sugar do you eat a day? Multiply the number of sugar grams times the number of servings, and then divide by 4.

It's amazing.

My body also reacts to chemicals much more easily as a response to the load sugar puts on my system.

And a repressed immune system.

That's my bundle of joy too.

Wah-h-h-h-h-h-h.

JOT Day 67, 68, 69 - Three, two one, Contact

Watched the flick Contact with Jodee Foster.

It's withstood the test of time well, I think, given that it doesn't look immediately dated when the first shot rolls out.

I identified with Jodee's character and all the questioning, in her own mind and in the minds of others, of what the bleep do we really know.

I feel like I've been around the universe and back these days myself.

But it's much better than standing still.

My fever broke a few days ago, and then all hell broke loose.

Just when you think things are like this, they're like that.

Ah, change. You are a fickle one.

Details to come as they sort themselves out.

Cuz I can't shut up.

JOT Day 64, 65, 66 - Regardless of our ethnic, religious, gender, or geographic origins

OK, so maybe they weren't such vague flu-like symptoms.

Maybe it was the flu after all.

I haven't had the flu in ten years.

Because ten years ago I changed my diet and stopped eating what was making me sick.

But since I am a simple human, I have been backtracking, back-sliding, back-pedalling slow-w-w-w-ly over the past few months, until here I am, with the incontrovertible evidence.

Immune system compromised. Bam.

At least I know what to do about it now.

It took me 40 years of listening to modern medicine and getting nowhere but sicker fast, but I learned.

And now I pass that information on to those who are interested.

If you are a bit of a left-brained geek like me--I am whip-lashed from the left- to the right-brained part of me on a regular basis--the "facts" in this book might be of interest. I put quotes around "facts" because that is such a subjective term.

There are facts erupting all over the planet all the time--some of them we as a species bump into and name and quantify and misinterpret, and some of them we just allow to be and they sustain us, regardless of our ethnic, religious, gender, or geographic origins.

It's a no-brainer which approach is more effective when the effective set of "facts" is used as criteria.

"The combination of white sugar and white rice...is lethal. The removal of the B vitamins, among others, from the rice causes imbalance, for as the body seeks what it lacks, more B vitamins are leeched from the system in order to digest the white rice. Refined white sugar leeches the same vitamins for the same reason. The combination of refined flour and refined sugar spells double trouble."

~Sugar Blues, by William Dufty

Some of us are the canaries in the coal mine for the species, since this stuff affects us quicker than it does others.

Some people can go for decades until the evidence begins to show up. But cancer gets one's attention pretty quickly, doesn't it? More from Mr. Dufty:

"Figures relating the consumption of sugar in early America to the number of deaths from diabetes have not been compiled. However, Danish authorities do have such statistics, but the medical histories in the U.S. rarely mention them or make any connection between sugar and diabetes.

"In 1880, the average Danish citizen consumed over 29 pounds of refined sugar annually; at that time, the recorded death rate from diabetes was 1.8 per 100,000. In 1911, consumption had more than doubled: some 82 pounds of sugar per Dane annually; the recorded death rate from diabetes was 8 per 100,000. In 1934, Danish consumption of refined sugar was approximately 113 pounds per person annually; the recorded death rate from diabetes was 18.9 per 100,000.

"Before WWll, Denmark had a higher consumption of sugar than any other European country. (The word Danish also means a pastry sugarbomb.) In Denmark, every fifth person suffers from cancer. In half a century, the annual Swedish consumption of refined sugar increased from 12 pounds per head in 1880 to over 120 pounds per head in 1929. Every sixth person suffers from cancer.

"In the Scandinavian countries, statistics date from the day when sugar consumption was relatively low. Nothing comparable exists in the U.S. While the rest of the world lags behind the Scandinavian countries in compiling and publishing such statistics, the point is inescapable: As sugar consumption escalates wildly, fatal diseases increase remorselessly."

I have Danish blood running in my viens, so this bit of information has a bit more impact for me.

I just Googled "yearly American consumption of sugar" and this is what clicking on one listing of the first page of search results produced:

One sweet nation

Posted 3/20/05

Here are some facts about Americans' infatuation with sugar and syrup:

In 1967, Americans ate 114 pounds of sugar and sweeteners a year per capita, nearly all of it as either raw or refined sugar. In 2003, each person consumed about 142 pounds of sugar per year.

Since high-fructose corn syrup was developed more than 30 years ago, consumption of the sweetener, which flavors everything from soda pop to ranch dressing, has skyrocketed. Now Americans down about 61 pounds a year each. [That is in addition to the refined sugar total mentioned above.]

Since 1950, soft-drink consumption per capita has quadrupled, from about 11 gallons per year to about 46 gallons in 2003--nearly a gallon a week per person.

With all that sugar-eating, it's no wonder people don't have much room for their vegetables. In 2003, Americans consumed, on average, a dismal 8.3 pounds of broccoli and just over 25 pounds of dark lettuces (the kinds that are really good for you).

This story appears in the March 28, 2005 print edition of U.S. News & World Report.

~*~*~

Now, I'm going to do something unheard of in most human experience: I'm not going to rail against the powers-that-be who created this and many other monsters down through the ages (This and those many other phenomenon have been around for centuries).

That just doesn't fly energetically nor does it work in the results arena.

What does seem to carry the weight of successful "campaigns" throughout history is taking responsiblity for my own actions and choosing differently.

I could denounce capitalists around the globe who see the fastest path to cash and take it by inundating us with messages that tell us how to get happy (and thus produce an awareness of lack that must be unendingly filled [because it's an inaccurate premise to start with] with everything that gets advertised) in a world where messages about us being pretty darn happy just the way we are, are very few and far between.

I don't have a problem with people wanting to make money. There's more than enough to go around for everyone on the globe to live their definition of a very nice life.

I do have a problem with the mindset of some who would have us buy into their own set of fears and muck it up for the rest of us, at our own expense.

There are millions to be made without depriving people of their sanity, their health and their dignity, which inevitably deprives those powers-that-be of their sanity, their health and their dignity.

So I am going to take responsiblity.

For what goes into my body, what I read, what I listen to, what I think.

Because no one else really has the power to do that, anyway.

It all depends on the choices you make and what fuels those choices.

And the spector of getting sick all the time again has a way of making this all very simple.

Right now, I am going to go prepare my own version of responsibility: a pot of brown rice.

And I'm going to continue getting reaquainted with Mr. Dufty's excellent history of sugar consumption the world over. It gets more interesting, trust me.

For instance: in that snippet of a U.S. News & World Report article, did you notice that there is no mention made of WHY that high-fructose corn syrup is in everything from soda pop to ranch dressing?

It only presents its presence as a given, as "America's infatuation".

Now why do you suppose that is?

It's such a fascinating ride, taking one's power back.

I highly recommend it.

 

 

 

JOT Day 61, 62, 63 - War on fear

Nothing like a bout with vague flu-like symptoms to slow you down when you're doing too much.

So I haven't been doing much along JOT lines during these slow-down-and-recuperate days.

But I have been being Jot-like.

I've been noticing where my thoughts begin to flirt with limiting beliefs and rather than pick them up, I allow them to pass by on the screen of my mind and not take up the hook of credibility.

Because they aren't true, any of those thoughts.

We believe lies, and because we believe them, we give them free access to our brains.

Not a wise career move on our part.

And we don't ask for help, believing another lie that we are to persevere and conquer whatever is in our path by sheer will.

Pure baloney.

Certainly there are aspects of what we do that require our individual attention and action.

Bu collaboration could be powering the remainder of our energy and time investments with pay-offs a million-fold stronger and more impactful than what we might be able to accomplish on our own.

This was powerfully demonstrated in the film The King's Speech. He fought getting help from the one person who could provide what he needed, until he didn't have a choice.

And then the magic happened.

Just think how much more magic there would be in the world were we able to get over our fears.

How about a war on fear?

Or better yet and more energetically aligned, a focus on embracing what's real?

There are still millions to be made in that arena.

Unless you believe the lie.

 

 

JOT Day 60 - If not now, when? No, really. When?

Another web page built.

Another domain name purchased.

And an improv workshop located and signed up for. This organization specializes in the kind of thing I want to do, and they offer a sketch writing class when I'm done with the improv training.

I love how the universe works, and I love that I get how to work with it instead of against it, and am reminded of this connection every. single. day.

If you'd like to find out how to do that for yourself, ping me.

It's really not worth waiting anymore.

Any day that's spent in ambivalence is another few decades of numbing out.

How many more of those do you want to endure?

JOT Day 59 - The magic in pixels

I wasn't expecting to get these until next week, but they arrived this morning.

What a fabulous surprise.

 

 

 

It was a magical afternoon, and Josh recorded it all in pixels.

It just depends on who is behind the lens.

Thank you, Josh!

 

JOT Day 58 - I have no idea what I was talking about

Someone asked me how I was doing since the post I did a week or so ago where I wasn't feeling that great about something.

I have no idea what I was talking about.

Seriously.

I can't remember what it was.

That 's how fleeting our problems truly are.

The solutions are in the same plane of existence as the problem.

Focus on one, and you live that reality.

Focus on the other and you live that reality.

Funny how that works.

~*~*~

I'm about to embark on a new phase in my life, and I'm savoring the anticipation of it.

I can physically feel this future approach.

And it's amazing.

 

 

 

 

JOT Day 56, 57 - That's what good coaches do

I've come as far as I can on my own and need some help now for the rest of the journey.

I need coaching to learn how to do what I don't know how to do.

That's what I've come to conclude over the last few days. It's a surrender of sorts into what serves me, and it's exciting as all get-out.

I've been coached before, and I know how amazing the process is, so I look forward to this unfolding in ways I can't even imagine right now.

I've been watching video of other people going through a particular process, and there are shifts going on inside me that I can't describe.

They'll be gelling for awhile before I can put words to them.

And that is fabulous.

Because there is vocabulary that I don't have access to right now, and ways of thinking that are totally foreign to me, that I want from being coached by someone who does know, and is willing to share from the heart.

Because that's what good coaches do.

JOT Day 55 - This changes everything

The thing about a project that is brewed with an intention of boundless action, you just never know what's going to happen. So when, this afternoon, I had the inspiration/inclination/directive to completely redo my brand and website look and feel, fundamentally change it, I hesitated--for about a nano second.

Hesitated, but then acknowledged that this kind of inspiration wouldn't arrive without a reason, and it's pointless to fight it.

It's because of everything I've been building with, and building on, that's providing the momentum to drive this change, and for me to question it is to kill it.

That is always an option, killing it.

And I've certainly done that kind of thing in the past.

It's a convenient way to stay numb, kill your dreams.

That way you don't have to feel the pain of their not being realized, and you also don't have to feel the sweet ecstacy of their being realized.

For some, choosing which hurts more would be difficult.

But that's just not the landscape in this scenario.

It's an acknowledgment of the shifts I'm making, and what I have to offer those who are looking for that experience as well.

So there will be changes to the blissmonger online presence coming soon.

And it's all good.

 

 

 

 

 

JOT Day 54 - Above freezing

I was so excited yesterday about the photo session and all the new ideas I was getting access to because of it that I didn't sleep very well. My system responds like this to big energy, and I have to be careful about not playing music that really resonates with me too late in the evening or the same thing happens.

What a problem to have, eh?

So I got up during th night and did some more culling of articles I've saved about authentic marketing over the past two or three years and ckipped the salient points to include in my right brain business plan.

And I can stop collecting that stuff now. There is no more info needed--just implementation.

Today I watched dvd 7 out of 14 in the home study program that is pushing me steadily onward and upward with my business skills.

I also tweaked the logo look and feel of my site, found a new biz card template ready to order when my pics are available and found some great theme images at istockphoto for my pages.

The fact that the temperatures around here were above freezing for several days in a row made for pleasureably getting outside and walking. I was marveling at how nature does its thing and transforms this white frozen wonderland into green, lush summer. If it were up to us humans, it probably wouldn't happen because we'd find some excuse for the tansition to be late or out of balance.

We do our job of integrating what nature provides, and let nature do its creation thing.

 

JOT Day 53 - Today I was the object of a photoshoot

Today I was the object of a photoshoot.

It was so much fun!

Kudos to Josh for making it so. I can't wait to see the results!

And I found a look and feelf or my webiste that just. rocks. my world.

And a wonderful beginning to my right-brain biz plan--all the marketing/right/people/social media aritcles that I've printed over the last few years are makingtheir way into this artist's notebook document.

So. much. fun.

Sonoma Coast Pinot noir rocks.

And so does my sweetie.

JOT Day 52 - Yes, this includes everything

Since I moved to a new city, I've been putting off finding a new doctor because I just didn't want to.

I loved the one I had, and I had no variable reducing criteria for eliminating the thousands of practitioners in the area in order to find the one I wanted, and so I just let the endeavor simmer   back burner.

Until last week.

Then suddenly it all just sort of came together. I started looking online and I don't even remember what the search word I used was, but there, on the screen was a family practice clinic that employed--midwives? Really??

How progressive.

And it's in the part of town I want to live in next.  What the hell.

I'll see if they take new patients.

Yes?

When might the first available appointment be?

Tomorrow?

Really?

Um, OK.

Turns out I LOVED the place.

No one was in a hurry to see 120 patients that day. My questions and answers to theirs were attentatively listened to. I don't think I've ever had such a pleasant experience in a medical provider's office.

Another example of not taking action until one is lined up with it.

Don't even bother wasting your time and energy on something that will fail until you are lined up with it.

Yes, this includes everything.

 

JOT Day 51 - Spiders aren't just for breakfast anymore

Since I completed my homepage and my first tier 2 page on my new site, I could submit them today to Google, Yahoo and Bing search engines through my SBI account, and now the spiders can start doing their thing.

This is where I need to remember not to focus on the numbers.

Just like with paying attention the stock market fluctuations every day, or hopping on the scale every morning, obsessing on minute web traffic movement will drive you insane.

It's the babysteps of the present economic system, or your body's ability to metabolize energy and use it up as fuel, or usage on the net over time that wins.

I'm also noticing more new thoughts going through my head that I didn't have access to before, meaning they would have felt preposterous. But now that I've practiced thinking more and more thoughts in their essence range, i.e. hopeful and eager rather than doubtful and brooding, my neuropathways are branching out in these new ruts and more thoughts like them can show up because of this mind power flypaper.

It's exciting and empowering and full of possibilities all that rah-rah stuff, but the bottom line is, I feel great.

I'm experiencing steady and increasing relief from the self-talk loops that have played in my mind for decades and are now just as steadily losing their foothold.

I've got relief from what used to keep me up at night.

I've stopped wasting my time and  energy and finally found the solutions I was looking for.

I focus on what works and I see real, lasting results that build over time.

And that is one big bag of chips.

JOT Day 50 - In the clenches

Every once in awhile on this ride of personal growth, something happens.

You wake up and realize that the clenching of whatever it is that's on your mind, keeping you up at night--it's not there anymore.

And it stays away for half an hour, the rest of the day, possibly even the rest of the week, before old thinking takes over again and the clench comes back.

(Cuz the clench does come back, eventually, but the intensity has changed.) 

That lack of clench is the stuff of dreams.

But it's real.

It's like the pull of golf, connecting with the sweet spot on the club during a swing.

It's an addiction of the highest order, and eliminates any angst about sticking with the game that might have been there right up until that swing.

This lack of clench euphoria is stone. real. relief.

And the depth of the relief gets deeper, stronger, more pervasive and lasts longer each time it occurs, to the point of it taking awhile to notice that it's dissipated when it finally has.

But even then, you're on a new plateau from which to be/do/have, so the playing field has permantently changed anyway.

Once you start thinking and acting from a new place, you have access to thoughts and actions that are even more along the lines of what you were looking for, that wasn't available to you in the clenches.

Today was one of those unclench days for me.

And it's interesting that it came on the heels of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day quite recently.

The degree to which the contrast of these two experiences forms their dichotomy is astounding.

But because my focus here with the JOT process is doggedly onward with daily small steps toward what I say and believe that I want, these results really aren't that surprising.

And I'm milking it for all it's worth.

Doing the work but not taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate the results just cancels out the work and you lose traction.

Baby steps in the general direction get you where you're going.

What are you baby stepping? 

   

JOT Day 49 - Time suck ephemora

We all know participating in social media can be a time suck.

Surfing online articles is another.

It's so perfectly and eloquently justified, but it's a time suck.

None of us needs another article to validate what we're doing.

We only need our own permission for that.

It can't come from someone outside of ourselves because permission never stands still outside of ourselves.

It's always changing, depending on someone else's whim.

The permission we give ourselves is what counts, because deep down we know what we want to do and how to do it.

We're just waiting for permission.

Go ahead and give it to yourself.

Save yourself weeks, months, years of delay in doing what would make you feel (and possibly earn) a million bucks.

Today I consciously chose not to pick up another text of any kind until I'm finished with what I've already decided is on my path.

No distractions, not now.

There will be times when I need a break and a distraction will be welcome and useful.

Just not now.

 

JOT Day 47, 48 - Climbing back up the emotional scale

Every once in awhile, I plunge back down for a reorientation with the depths of the emotional scale, down in the bowels of negative emotions that I know do not serve me or anyone else, but in the heat of the moment, they just are.

The thing is, once you've stabilized your spot in the upper registers, this reorientation thing doesn't take much to feel like the world as you know it has collapsed--even just a little bit of contrast in an arena that you aren't used to anymore does that. 

So I vented and fumed for awhile, reached out and spoke to someone who talked me down from the dizzying heights of irrationality, and eventually I felt much better.

Even that small amount of time and energy spent in that space was exhausting though. And counterproductive. I know better. But the experience was great for shoring up boundaries and resolve in many areas, so for that I can appreciate what happened.

Today I am checking out another spot for my Meetup group to meet in, and I took the first step in making an appointment as a new patient with a new health care provider. The Right-Brained Biz Plan book arrived in the mail and I've started reading the exercises that will start using the clippings I've got from magazines.

Feeling like I'm on track and moving in the right direction.

JOT Day 45, 46 - On the move

On the road again but still made time to JOT. Yesterday I got real clarity around articulating my value proposition, or what it is that I do for people. Today I found an authentic affiliate link that will feel great on the new website, which I read another chunk about in the manuel on writing pages. Good stuff, Maynard.

JOT Day 43, 44 - Asking the Right Questions

Usually it's about asking the right questions to get to where you want to go, and then listening to the answers.

Sometimes its about asking the right questions at the right time, in the right mindset.

The blinders and ear muffs are off and you can actually move beyond where you've been.

I love it when that happens.

So never underestimate the power behind never, never, never give up.

Eventually, you'll get there.   

Someone out there needs to hear this right now.

You know who you are.

You're welcome.

JOT Day 42 - Living my life

Home page copy written and run tbrough rigorous analysis checks. Bam.

Excellent conversation around what surrender and vulnerability really are, and what we like to pretend they are. Bam.

Dinner at Chipotle. Bam.

JOT Day 40, 41 - Monsters are created

I started using my favorite mind-mapping tools--post-it notes and large paper--to block out the pages of my new website. Knowing what to put on the pages based on what people are searching for is very empowering. And I get to express my creative side with a look and feel that works for me. Win-win-win.

So eventually this website will become defunct or something. Maybe. Haven't decided yet about keeping up with the blog or not. Time management realities will make that decision.

Watched the first half of Amadeus last night, as much as we could handle before nodding off in front of the tv from vacation recuperation. What struck me this time is the debilitating comparison that Saliere made between himself and Mozart that could only lead to one conclusion--self-loathing and projection of that intense emotion onto someone else.

And he ends up in an insane asylum because of his grief--granted off to himself in a private room, but in an insane asylum none-the-less. Mozart on the other hand knows he deserves every good thing. I have a feeling he would feel that way even if he weren't the best at what he did, which would have made him that way anyway. I'm guessing that his relationship with his stern father heavily influenced his precociousness--can't have all that flaunting and no real appreciation without consequences. Monsters are created.

A few days ago I watched The Parrots of Telegraph Hill. Lovely story of one man's journey of finding himself and seeing where his life leads without him steering it. His equanimity was so soothing. Highly recommended.  

 

 

JOT - Day 38, 39 - The kind of miracle that can happen with you

Some days there is nothing glamorous or significant about what we do with our time.

Some days we just put one foot in front of the other and get on with it.

Some dyas we are simly adding to the critical mass that will one day make itself known, only because we did the daily grind of putting forth the effort, even just one thing.

Today I watched the dvd American Movie, a documentary about the making of a fim that had been one man's dream since he was 14.

It was an unprettifed version of what it's like to spend three years of your life doing what you can with what you've got, with the nagging thought egging you on that this is my last shot and I'm not going to let anything get in my way.

It's cool that the film went to Sundance, but the fact that it was ever, EVER finished is a miracle.

The kind of miracle that can happen with you. 

 

JOT Day 37 - What do you want?

No, not that.

What do you really want?

What do you want, that you almost don't let yourself even think about because there's a belief you've practiced into such a place of silent vigil that even tip-toeing around in that territory feels like breaking several rules?

THAT.

JOT Day 36 - Grappa, pesto and a little sumpin', sumpin - not necessarily in that order

Tonight we had dinner on St. Martin at Spago, a new place that is slowly building its reputation and clientele.

The gnocchi w/ shrimp & pesto was amazing. The grappa afterward was divine. I hope the word gets out.

After days of research and then following my gut, I chose a domain name for my new website. There are still many days left before I've completed the initial steps and the unvieling begins, but I am so excited about doing the writing and following the loose formula.

Which anyone has to do. You take a proven formula, and the adapt it to what works in your situation.

Tweaking with style.

Salute.

 

JOT Day 35 - Resistance thy name is parasite

Resistance.

Our lives are ruled by it, until they aren't.

It feeds off of our knee-jerk reactions, until we decide we've had enough of them.

It shoots justification and indignation through our veins like a sugar high, and we come down just as low afterwards.

Strip away the layers of meaning we put on top of any situation, and resistance has to look elswhere for sustenance.

Pull the plug on resistance.

JOT Day 33, 34 - If At First You Don't Succeed, Buy More Searches

I'm enjoying the process of arriving at a site concept via SBI! that works for me in their formula.

The place where passion, time available and content overlap is the Venn diagram motherlode.

That's where a satisfying life is led, there in the folds of what makes a difference.

I haven't completed this process yet, but I can't wait to see where it ends up.

May you have the pleasure of spending time in that great triumvirate today.

JOT Day 30 - Keywords

Did you know that there are 86,000 search engine searches for quotations?

That's a lot of people looking for some snippets of wisdom.

Hmmmmm...

JOT Day 28 - Expectedly Unexpected Results

I know enough about personal growth phenomenon that I fully expected some funky stuff to happen during this JOT expedition, and it's already started showing up.

I used to be an SBI! website owner.

Awhile back I let the site founder after deciding I didn't want to spend time keeping up with two web presences, and my Typepad blog/site called to me more than the SBI site did.

After doing some reconn last night about changes I wanted to make, this morning while I was in the shower I was hit with a divine nudge: "Get another SBI! site!"

So I did.

And I fully expect that the new site that I build may not be the one I have preconceived notions about creating at the moment.

And that is just honky-dorey with me.

I am more than willing to combine my creativity and interests with proven methodology to come up with a winner for me and for the people out there trying to find me.

Sohere's to the expectedly unexpected. 

There's a part of us that always knows what's coming next.